​It’s oh so quiet….sssssh….sssssssh!

It’s oh so stiiiiiiiill…
Tonight.  I don’t even have the tellybox on.

The minions are in bed and the only sounds are the dinner cooking and my good friend Gin shouting at me from the bottle.

“Let me out you bitch!”

“I haven’t seen my BFF Tonic in 2 weeks!” 

” You know you want me!”

“You DESERVE ME!” 
Seriously.  The little fecker is really fricken loud.

Like my children.

Loud.

Adorable, but JEEEEESUS they’re loud.
The Big one will never need a microphone if she ever follows Mamma Bear’s twinkletoes on-stage.  And the Little one is quiet usually, but MY GOD when she roars, she ROARS! 😂

I blame The Him.👤

As usual. 😂
Today, Mini Me came out of the bathroom buck feckin naked, declaring that her clothes had fallen off.  

She then threw a strop which included throwing a ball up the hall and screaming “You’re stoopid!” before arriving BACK up same hall dressed as a cowgirl, holding a rocket (which was actually a gun apparently) and proceeded to shoot us. Violent little lady.  

(Again, I blame The Him.👤  He let her watch The Avengers on Saturday. TWAT.)
 Then, she hugged me until she almost choked me and cried because she doesn’t want me or the Him to go to Heaven and her favourite pink soap is finished so it’s DEAD!
 A perfectly normal and logical chain of events really. 

No?

Or maybe it’s  time to call thon psychologist cousin of mine?
How did we react?

 We didn’t really. We’re getting quite good at the “stay calm and don’t confront unnecessarily” motto.  It does work sometimes.
My response was to lace up my trainers, leave The Him to it and walk 6k in 50 minutes. 

I came home refreshed and positive and opened the door to this 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 little guilt monster waiting for me like a PUPPY at the living room door.

“Please Mummy, Don’t ever leave me again….”

Those eyes though? 💖💖💖
So now, the Hulk SMAAAAAASH is asleep, the Toothless Wonder is drooling all over her cot again and because I can’t join my fablis friends for a night of Mexican Food, Margaritas and Highly intelligent conversation, I’m going to say hello to poor Mr Gin and “Cheers” to them, and you, from my quiet house.
Sssssssssssssh…. 🍷💖🍷💖🍷