I am Simply Drying your Hair Mum

Drying your hair.
Tonight, it is different, Drying your hair.

My heart, it is breaking, while you just sit there.

This is so normal, you really don’t see

What’s different about sitting up on my knee.
I comb it. And where you would usually cry, 

You don’t, you’re distracted and I wonder why

This troubles me suddenly, makes my heart hurt?

“That’s my big girl” I say, and that’s when I start.
I turn on the hairdryer, and then they begin

And for each strand that dries, another tear wins.

I’m sobbing, and sobbing, I let them pour down,

You stare at the telly, snug in your nightgown.
Completely oblivious to the mess right behind you,

Who struggles to breath as your hair falls around you.

It’s shiny and finished, but I keep on drying

Glad that you haven’t yet noticed me crying.
The comb puts in order the long strands of gloss,

Mummy puts in order her feeling of loss,

For while I am proud of you every day,

I know that a baby, you simply can’t stay.
I turn off the dryer and dry up my tears.

I cuddle you tightly and whisper in your ear.

“Your hair is so pretty and I love you so”,

You smile and hug tighter and answer “I know”.
So, drying your hair it was different this time

And yes, I’m being silly, I know you’ll be fine.

And while you’ll soon want to dry your own hair maybe,

You’ll always be this Mummy’s Beautiful Baby. 

I am Soooo a Finalist Mum!

​Ok.

I have news…
Who would like to celebrate with S-Mum on this Tuesday evening? 
 Guess who is a Littlewoods Ireland Blog Awards 2016 FINALIST?
In BOTH categories! 😲😲😲

I’m fricken gobsmacked Ladybelles.

Thank you to everyone who voted for me.  I truly appreciate ALL of your support.πŸ’—
When I was nominated, I was chuffed.  Getting long-listed and then shortlisted was one surprise after another, but this is AMAZING!


Now, there is the small matter of an awards ceremony in Dublin on the 15th.
Wtf does one wear to a Circus themed party? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
I’m about to start the sticking on of the labels on the school stuff for Mini-Me here.  I shall now be doing so while looking like the Cheshire Cat. πŸ˜‚


And I think I deserve a wee drinkeepoo, don’t you?
Cheers Supermums. πŸ·πŸ’—πŸ·πŸ’—πŸ·πŸ’—πŸ·
#LWIBloggies #LWIBlogawards2016 #LWIBloggies2016 #SMum #finalist

I am Start-getting-organised Mum!

​So it’s time to get organised!
Tonighy, I am too exhausted to be wittiful or funniful, but I do hope to be slightly helpful. 😚
I started using this techniqueπŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡ when Mini-Me began attending NaΓ­onra last year.  
Mornings are very stressful in every house, and while this won’t guarantee peaceful Little-House-on-the-Prairie scenes of family love and  peace and zen, it REALLY helps.
I put her clothes, clean vest, pants and socks in to each one and used the bottom drawer for shoes.  

Now that she’ll be in a uniform, it’ll be the underwear really, and her PE gear will be in whichever day she needs it.  

If you can get them into the habit of putting their shoes in once they are taken off, it saves THE BIGGEST NIGHTMARE each morning…the “GO AND GET YOUR FECKING SHOES!” debacle? (Drives me insane! πŸ˜‚)
I was desperate to get some calm and routine into our house, so thought it was worth a try.

It was.
It helped HER to take a little bit of responsibility for herself.  πŸŒŸ

 It helps instil an understanding of the days of the week as well as word recognition. 🌟

  It makes them feel grown up and most importantly, it made ME get organised!πŸ˜‚
For the first few weeks, I was Mary Fricken Poppins on a Sunday night. πŸ˜‚  It didn’t last long, but I did remain in the habit of making sure that the drawer was full at bedtime each night. 

And it really did make mornings SOOOOOO much more relaxed. (I ALMOST bought one for myself! πŸ˜‚)
Right now, it’s full of bibs and cloth nappies and God Knows What, but tomorrow we are going to make colourful new labels, because in fairness, compared to these πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡ two aesthetically pleasing examples, my white decorated with a Sharpie attempt (top right! 😣😣) is a bit shite isn’t it? 


So try it!

These drawers are easily found, and already in most homes, and to be honest, sticking labels on the wardrobe or chest of drawers they already have,works just as well!  

 Get them to help you make the labels so they have ownership of the whole project.
Kiddies are clever and love structure.

Mammies are desperate and love calm.
Give it a go and let me know how you find it? Or share YOUR tips for Magically-Mayhem-Free Mornings?
S-Mum πŸ˜™

​It’s here.
It’s horrid.

But, like everything, it’s happening whether I like ot or not, so I have to pull up my “Big Girl” knickers and get over it. πŸ˜‚πŸ’—πŸ˜‚
It’s the night before I finally add “outside of the hoouse” work to all the “Stay at home Mum” work I already do.  

Over the past week, more than a few people have said things like “You’ll be glad to get back into routine”, “Sure you’ve been off for AGES,” and even “It’ll give you something to do again”.  It seems to be assumed that being at home with two kids is simply an extended holiday; easy peasy.
What people often forget is that when a Mammy (or Daddy indeed) goes back to work, none of the “SAHM” work goes away.  

It just gets ADDED to. 

The cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping, surviving… It’s simply condensed into LESS TIME.πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯
And that’s before the playing, teaching, growing, reading, and loving that our kids need from us.
Being a SAHM is hard work.

Working AND being a Mum is hard work.

Because, technically, we’re both.  Although we go out to another building to do our jobs for a few hours a day, we’re still also Stay at home Mums, because Mums NEVER switch off! 
My Mum has been a SAHM for 35 years.  She’s the hardest worker I know and her “career” was and still is,  us.  

She never got a sick day. She rarely even gets a “Her day”.  

Her salary?

 Slobbers and smiles and a few successful “Proud Mammy” moments along the way. πŸ˜…πŸ˜πŸ˜

  Each of us owes who we are and what we’re achieving every day, TO HER, WORKING to be everything we needed.  She’s raised 6 of us and is now helping us to raise OUR babies.  She might not have had to answer to a boss or fill out paperwork or wear a uniform, but she left her job to do THE single most important job in the world…full time.
And while I would give ANYTHING to give my girls the same dedication and security, I can’t.

 That’s just life. 
I know from my short maternity leaves from my job, how absolutely heart wrenchingly lonely being a SAHM can sometimes be.  When the only conversation you’ve had in a day was with a grumpy, tantruming toddler or a Babby whose vocabulary stretches only to “Dadada”; when you answer Mr. FECKIN TUMBLE, OUT LOUD; πŸ˜… (admit it Ladybelles, we’ve ALL done it!), then you know the importance of companionship, of colleagues, of friends.
I can’t imagine what it was like for Mums before social media etc. 

 One of the few things I am genuinely looking forward to is spending some time with my colleagues. 

I’m lucky to work with real friends. They’ve stayed in touch and kept me included in the year I’ve been off.  For that alone, I’m blessed.
My biggest fear tonight is how my Brain is going to cope with all the EXTRA stuff: the new routine, the work, the prep, the marking, the stress, the Mini-Me at Big school, the tiredness, the THINKING.  How I’m going to FIT all of that, (even though it’s what I’ve done for 15 years without a thought! ), into my head on top of the mayhem of our Crazy frog lifestyle as it is, I DO NOT KNOW.
And yet I will.

(There may be a grape shortage in the next 6 months, just to warn you! πŸ˜…πŸ·)
By tomorrow night, I’ll feel like I was NEVER away. I know I’ll soon get back into the swing of things. I’ll manage, like every Mummy with a job does.

  I’ll feel guilty every day. I’ll hate leaving.  I’ll have days where I function on no sleep.  I’ll have days where I’m at work wishing I was at home with my girls.  I’ll constantly remind myself that I’m working for THEM; because reality doesn’t allow me to stretch this precious maternity leave for even another day.


So while I spend most of today sobbing like a twat everytime I looked at Princess and Mini-Me, I also had a lovely day with them.  The Him even took a bit of time away from Jim to join us. πŸ•΅ Jim is probably huffing tonight, but SOMETIMES Crazy,  Highly emotional Wife is more important! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
We spent a blissful afternoon at Oakfield Park, visited lovely friends and then I came home and burned the dinner while Princess found a marker and drew ALL OVER HER FECKIN FACE! 😣😣😣


So yes, a significant but pretty normal day really…
Finished obviously with a little tipple, to celebrate having had the chance to be a SAHM for even a while, and to make myself feel a little bit bloody better about going back to my “other job” tomorrow.
Bubbles it is.

Cheers to the working parents, both in the workplace and in the home. 

You’re FABLIS. XXXXX 
SAHM πŸ˜™πŸ˜™

I am Satisfaction of a List Mum!

​
Today is a LIST day.
I love lists.
Lists make me sooooo happy, especially as I score through items on it as I achieve/overcome/do them.
The type of list I make each morning is usually a manifestation of my subconscious intentions for the day.

Example:

Yesterday’s list didn’t even get written.

 Had I written it, it would have simply said.

β—‹ Keep children entertained and fed using WHATEVER is in the house.

β—‹ Play on floor

β—‹ AVOID doing ANYTHING of importance

β—‹ Remain in SlummyMummy mode all day.  DO NOT BRUSH HAIR.

β—‹ Watch edumacational TV.  Peppa-Stoopid-Pig counts today

β—‹ Ignore all housework

β—‹ Remain in Cavewomanesque denial of countdown to reality…

β—‹ Get minions to bed and Him fed in time to quietly watch Rosey Tralee. Do not roll eyes, snaughle, tut, swear or comment on Tweeter.  Comment only on gunas… Don’t be a bitch. You’re just jealous because you were never a Rosey.
You get the gist. Yesterday was crap…and yet blissful. 

Parenthood eh?
Today the list is full of VERY important things that I have been avoiding.


The most excitingful thing is Prom.

Yes.

You see correctly.

PROM! πŸ’—πŸ’—

Not MY PROM, OBVIOUSLY!

(That was NOTHING to get excited about…cringe!)
One of my favourite perks of the job is getting to go to PROM EVERY YEAR. 

Myself and the other usual suspect cool and “Downwiththekids” TeacherTypes go every year to see our little babbies step into the big bad world. 

Butterflies I tell you.

And it is always a great night of emotional fun.
Tonight, I’ll be driving so shall be Sensible and Ladybellelike.

Tomorrow, I’ll be happy I drove! πŸ˜…
Now, off my arse I get.

There are words on this list that need a big defiant LINE scored through them.

I swear it’s one of the most exciting and satisfying actions in life.
How utterly, terribly sad… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Any exciting plans for today?
#SMum #lists #blog 

I am Scratches in the corner Mum!Β 

​Mice.

Mouses.

Meeces.

Little feckers.🐭🐭
When we first moved in to Smumble-Hill 18 months ago, my dreams of FINALLY being a Domesticated Goddess in my perfect castle were tormented and thwarted for 3 weeks by a family of little “field mice” in the Tiddillyday room.

I’m guessing that my calling them “Field Mice” made most of you think “Ah Ok, not so bad”? You’re probably visualising fat little fluffy characters like Gus and JackJack in Cinderella?

No.

“Field Mice” sound cute.
THESE little twats were far from Cute.  They were rotten, dirty pests who bred like …well mice… and made my life HELL. 

ALL the traps in the world refused to work and I got to the point where I was ACTUALLY KNOCKING on the door of the Tiddillyday room to make sure they knew I was entering and therefore saving us both the drama of me seeing one of the little buggers and their tiny eardrums being BUSTED by my screams.

It was easier.

I eventually stopped going into the offending room until my ANGEL of a Daddy-in-law finally sorted our visitors out with magic sticky sheets.

The room was then bleached and scrubbed within an inch of my life and I no longer had an excuse for avoiding the laundrey! πŸ˜…πŸ˜…
I’m only just over the trauma.
So LAST NIGHT, at 3.12am, when I was taken from my slumber by a SCRATCHING SOUND in the corner of our room, you can IMAGINE the terror…

I couldn’t breath.

I was lying there, afraid to move, trying to establish that the sounds WERE indeed coming from inside the room.

From a bag of books and files The Him πŸ•΅has had in the corner FOREVER…

Therefore, it is HIM’S FAULT that Meeces had returned to haunt me…

Because Him never lifted that bag despite me BEGGING and THREATENING it removed…

Hims fault…πŸ•΅

And to top it off, while I was lying there, frozen in fear, HIM was in such a contented sleep that HE SNORED!
So, I did what any sane, calm wife would do…
I kicked him and scared the living Bayjeesus out of him!

Because I was damned if HE would be sleeping soundly while ME was wide awake and FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!
“Wtf? What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” Etc…

“The mice are back!” Hisses Me.

“WHAT MICE?”

” The ones from the Tiddillyday room!” (Because obviously, the dead mice from 18 months ago have come back to haunt me.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚)

“FML/grumbles/expletives”
Lights on.

Kicks bag.

No mouses.

Then, we both jump as the noise suddenly comes from BEHIND THE BLIND ABOVE THE BED! 😲😲

Yeah…NOW, he was taking me seriously.

It only took FLYING FECKING MICE for him to understand my blind fear!
So being the brave Superhero type that the Him is, he pulled up the blind, ready to pounce on and kill the evil perpetrator and hence save Hims Damsel in Distress. 

And out flies a HUGE moth.

A MOTH.
NOT a Meece or Mouse or ANYTHING  as terrifying as that.

A moth.
Window open, moth out, lights off…And all was right with the world.

The threat of the killer Mouse was gone.

In other news, have you ever looked at the contentsnof your baby’s nappy and wondered WTF they’ve eaten?

Yeah… 

On that note, I’ll sign off.
Hope your Mondays were Mouse free and Marvellous. 🐭🐭🐭
S-Mum #mice #moths #mayhem

I am Sunday Fun In W5 Belfast Mum. (Review)

Yesterday was the last Sunday of the summer holidays (and indeed of my maternity leave 😣), so we decided to take a spin to Belfast to check out W5.

Mini-Me is Dinosaur Crazy and I’d seen on their website that they had a Dinosaur themed exhibition. So off we went.

On a Sunday it opens at 12pm.

We arrived at the Odyssey at around 12.20pm and parked close to the door. There were huge bouncy castles and slides in the foyer. Mini-Me wanted to go on the inflatable slide. It was Β£2 for 5 slides. Β She did it once then freaked out that it was “too SCAWY!” and the guy supervising it handed the Him back the money, which was unexpected but very kind. So good start!

There was no queue for W5, the staff were friendly and helpful and Β£32 later, we entered. (In fairness, we are now 3 adults and 2 kids. Our Bloke is 18 on Friday so gone are the days of a family pass into ANYWHERE!πŸ˜…)

Immediately, the kids are entertained. Smoke signals, hot air balloons, lava lamps, interactive screens… it’s interesting from the first room.

The first floor had a brilliant exhibition of sciency stuff. Β What was most surprising to me, was how entertaining it all was, even to the adults. Β It’s one of those places that really does cater for ALL AGES. Mini-Me and our Bloke were equally intrigued by some of the stands! πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡

We did lots of tests and of course, with S-Mum and The Him involved, it got competitive! πŸ˜‚Balance test, grip test, heart rate, strength etc. And we both lost YEARS on the “What’s your real age?” test! πŸ˜‚

The Costa dock on the 2nd floor was clean and the young man was efficient and very polite. The climbing pod for kids there is AMAZING! Seriously, EVERY coffee shop should have one of these!

There is a brilliant play area for under 8’s with water features, interactive boards and floors, a huge train track, dolls’ house, doctor’s area, play shop and pretend cafe. Β Waterproof aprons are available to allow kids to really get their hands stuck into the water feature. Oh, and the toilets in this section are kiddy sized!

Up on the next floor is the Dinosaur exhibition. The Interactive Screen was FABLIS! Not just for kids…we ALL got in on the action here!

I did expect a few more models of dinosaurs to be honest, but the two displays there were impressive. There were loads more games and features on this floor too, again, interesting to everyone.

Oh! And the views of Belfast from up there are beautiful.

The venue is clean, well laid out and there are lifts to each floor so it’s accessible to all. Bathrooms and Baby change areas were well sign-posted snd clean. Staff were very helpful and although it was quite busy by the time we were ready to leave, it’s a very safe and family friendly place.

Our ticket was valid until 6pm so if we had wanted to go out to one of the restaurants in the Odyssey, we could have come back in.

We left after 3 hours, but really could have spent another 2 easily. (We realised how close we were to the Disney Shop and so HAD to pop in to the City Centre!)πŸ˜…

So overall, we were impressed. Β I think Mini-Me will enjoy it even more as she gets older. Β For Princess, there wasn’t much apart from the Under 8 area, but she IS only 9 months old! She was more than entertained looking around her and listening to the sounds.

When we left at 3.15pm, there was a queue of approximately 70 people outside, so it is definitely somewhere to go early.

We enjoyed it. Β The kids enjoyed it. We were suitably impressed and we shall indeed be back.

Follow me on Facebook @thesmum

Also on Instagram @the.s.mum

#SMum #Belfast #W5

I am Sunday before September Mum

​Well is it a Sauvignon Sunday or a Shiraz Sunday in your house?
It’s Screw-it-it’s-the-last-Sunday-I-can-have-a-glass Sunday here.🍷🍷
Final-Dash-Walton-style-Family-Day-Out was very successful. πŸ‘ͺ

W5 is fricken BRILLIANT for a day out. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed it AND it’s edumacational and EVERYTHING!

(I’ll put a wee review up tomorrow.)
We DID make it to the Disney Shop and UNFORTUNATELY I fell into Zara on the way past. 😲😲
There was a very inconvenient (perfectly timed) downpour (joyful rain) that caused The HimπŸ•΅ to duck into the doorway which just happened to be ZARA… (YAAAAAY! Baaaahaaaaaaa!)

So I HAD to have a quick look around while it rained (joyful rain…joyful joyful rain!) and some tops FELL off the rails and insisted that I adopt them.

So being a very AngelinaJoliesque lady, I obliged.

I adopted them.

And technically, it was HIMS own fault because HIM dragged us all in.
Don’t you love Irish weather? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


I’m seriously considering breaking my “My kids won’t need screens in the car” rule.

The only thing that saved our sanity today was that our Bloke was between the two CrazyFrogs in the back seat, so he fielded the mayhem from us a bit. (Poor Cretur!) πŸ˜‚πŸ•΅πŸ˜‚
This week is going to be nuts.

  I have some getting Mini-Me ready for school to do, some VERY exciting meetings about my  October BUMP & BEYOND and of course, I’m back to school myself… (sigh.)πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹

I also have 4 days to complete ALL of the jobs I had on my to-do list when I STARTED my maternity leave last September! 
Let’s see how much I can do lastminute.com! πŸ™ŒπŸ˜™

Isn’t my new mug FABLIS?

Actually it’s more ladylike than a mug. 

It is a cup.

For I is a LAYDEE who sups Magic Bean Broth from A CUP. 

Pinky out please! πŸ˜…

And it has lovely inspirational words on it, so even while I’m supping my magic bean broth, technically I shall STILL be TEACHING AND INSPIRING my babbies.

Teacher Win.

#SMum  #badteacher #W5 #Belfast #Zara #blog

I am Shopsy Mum

​Well feck-it-up Friday was FABLIS!
Today’s Mummy wins were:

1.  Keeping everyone in one piece, fed and entertained.

2. Not getting puked on.

3. Princess SLEPT for the 2 hours we were shopping.  And No, I didn’t put wine in her bottle. πŸ€—

4.  Only making very animated faces behind Mini-Me’s back 3 times before bed.  πŸ˜²

5. Getting same Little Miss “I DON’T LIIIIIIIIKE CHICKEN!” to eat a big bowl of CHICKEN by blitzing it up with bolognese sauce, calling it LAVA and pouring it over a pasta VOLCANO! Oh, and calling it Secret recipe lava helped.  She DEMOLISHED it! πŸ˜‚πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡

In fairness, the only thing I fecked up today was my credit card. πŸ’³πŸ’³πŸ’³
I went to McElhinneys with my Mamma Bear and accidentally fell into some clothes.
I got a few bargains actually…a few teachery type bits to make me feel a bit of fab when I mix them with the old faithfuls from Penneys! #penneysbest
Then I ACCIDENTALLY bumped into the Chanel Counter and I felt SOOOOO bad that I had to buy shiny tiny little black boxes filled with shiny tiny but very FABLIS little pots and bottles. 

 (Sssssh! The HimπŸ•΅does Not need to know this.  It’s our secret K?)
S-Mum shall face the HELL of going back to reality with a shiny “Chaneled” face and smelling of aromatic floral bouquets of very spensive orchids and peonies or pee-the-beds or whatever.
It’s all still sitting in the little tiny bag on the bed because the packaging is WAY too exciting to open just yet.

Seriously, that little white bag has SERIOUS magic powers.

It really has helped me to feel better about going back to work. (And not just because I am going to need wages again to pay for it!) πŸ˜‚ 
I know I’m supposed to say things like “The only jewels I need around my neck are my children’s”, and “The prettiest thing a mum can wear is a smile or her baby or whatever.”

But sorry Ladybelles.

Feck that…
Sometimes I NEED the tiny roped handles of a tiny but crisp and structured white bag with one little word in divine black font around my wrist.

AND nice smelly creams can REALLY help with the pretty!

 I SWEAR I look 10 years younger ALREADY and I haven’t even opened it yet!
Now, speaking of aromatic floral bouquets, Shiraz or Merlot? 🍷🍷🍷
Share your Mammy Wins today? Or go ahead and tell me how you Fecked-it-up! 
I am SHOPSY MUM!

😍😍😍

#SMum #mcelhinneys #ballybofey #mammyheaven #chanel #sprayme #regretittomorrow

I am She cracks me up MumΒ 

​I am She cracks me up Mum.
Mini-Me before bed: “Mammy, What did the witto children in Afwica do when St. Patwick was chasing the snakes away?”
Me: 

Absolute silence…

(I was trying to figure out if this was a serious question or a joke she’d heard somewhere, in which case I’d have been wondering WHO the HECK I would have to be bollocking about such subject matter for conversation with a 4 year old?)
Mini-Me Me: “Mammy, what did the witto children…”
Me: (because I couldn’t actually think of ANYTHING to answer her with) “I don’t know Sweetie.  Do you want two stories tonight because you’ve been such a good girl?” 
Mini-Me: “YAY!”
Mammy win.

Distraction rocks… (Some might say BRIBERY…I will stick with DISTRACTION.) 
She is a funny little thing.😍😍

When asked today at camp what she wanted her face painted as, her reply was apparently “Elsa and the Hulk.”

Now, I pride myself on NOT allowing gender differentiation to be a factor in our home.  The girls have tractors and football and we’re all about the Superheroes.

Either I’m doing a wonderful job or I’m raising a badtempered, violent Princess.

We’ll see…

Regardless, she came home as a giraffe! πŸ†

It was adorable.

However, there is now yellow facepaint EVERYWHERE and I can’t get it off properly so she has gone to bed looking like a jaundiced minion. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
SO, she is FUNNY, but also very ASSERTIVE and POLITE.
On Monday night, Granda was turning hay in the field next door after she’d gone to bed. I told her he’d be finished soon and to go back to sleep.

 On Tuesday morning, this πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡ was stuck to the inside of her bedroom window.


I didn’t take much notice really, thinking it was a note to her fairy.  She loves blutack and writes on everything.  (I was just glad she hadn’t written on the glass. πŸ˜…)
This morning The Him πŸ•΅asked her what it was.
It says “Dear Granda.  NO FARMING AFTER BEDTIME. Thank you!”
Poor Granda was busting himself to literally ‘make hay while the sun shines’, but Madam Moralknickers had other ideas.

Well she’s polite if a bit bossy! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜
I may have to start buying presents 🍷 for her new teacher…

Bribery?  

How dare you…it’s simply Distraction! 

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
#SMum