I am Sugar Crash Mum

โ€‹Saturdays.
Sweet, wonderful, fun-filled Saturdays.
Remember when Saturdays consisted of no alarm clock, coffee dates, shopping for shoes (not in Clarks) and spending HOURS getting ready to go out and being grnerally feckin FABLIS? 
Remember that?
Now, Saturdays are USUALLY spent fitting EVERYTHING into one day… housework, washing, movies, shopping (for fricken food), baths… and every Mamma’s FAVOURITE…
…THE BIRTHDAY PARTY.

Don’t you LOVE birthday parties?

I do actually.
I love the excuse to nibble on plates of sweeties and crisps and “pabalova” and Haribos.

I love cake.

I love having a chance to chat to other parents.

I love that the party is NOT IN MY HOUSE!

I love to see other kids acting up on their poor grown-up people. (Not because I’m a bitch…no…It just makes me feel a little bit more normal. ๐Ÿ˜‰)

I love that Mini-Me is so COMPLETELY SHATTERED by bedtime that she sleeps like a diesel dry truck. 
But like ALL S-Mums, there is ONE thing about Birthday parties that I do not like.
Two words.

SUGAR CRASH. ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข
How to recognise Sugar Crash (SC) in your Minion:
1. Firstly, don’t be fooled into thinking that SC will only happen AFTER you leave the Birthday party.  It may present its ugly little head at ANY time during the event.  If you recognise the symptoms in your child, act immediately.

GET OUT! GET OUT AS FAST AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN!
2. Flushed face…indicating fever (or just general knackeredness when getting off bouncy castle/trampoline.)
3. Sugar froth at the mouth… the little shit has eaten so much funfood that their ability to hide the evidence diminishes rapidly.
4. The glare.  When you mention going home and their eyes narrow… RUN.
5.  Excessive, loud, manic laughter… “Aw leave them…they’re having fun aren’t they!?”

 NOOOOOOOOO.  Christ NO! THIS is the WARNING SIGN.

  THIS kind of crazy convulsion ALWAYS ends in tears.  OTF NOW!
6. Your sweet, beautiful angel turns into an absolute Hell Hallion, whose only mission in life suddenly becomes the need to DESTROY EVERYTHING around her…most importantly, your sanity.
7. A Defiant and definitive declaration of protest at bedtime that they are NOT tired, despite the fact that their eyes are upside down and they look like Gollum after 34 whiskies. 
8.  Screams, whining, tears, exhaustion. ( Be warned…THIS one is highly contagious. You may find yourself displaying these signs in sympathy with your little darling.)
9. Sudden refusal to do ANYTHING they are asked to do.  And don’t even DARE to need to go anywhere else or do anything else AFTER the party… (Trust me there isn’t enough wine in the world to help you get over the trauma of a trip to Dunnes with a child suffering from SC.)
There are many more, but I’m sorry… I’m done. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ
My little Beauties are finally in bed and I need to stop typing and starting supping the Happy Mummy juice.
When I’m rich and famous, I promise that the Mammies at our parties will each receive a party bag at the end too…

Inside, shall be a Double Decker and a cute little bottle of WINE. ๐Ÿท๐Ÿท
And at today’s party (which for the record, as usual, was AMAZING), one Mammy was leaving to head to party number 3 with 4 kids…
To THAT SuperMum, I say Cheers and well done and May the odds be ever in your favour..
Is it Shiraz or sauvignon Saturday in your house?

Goodnight Lovely Ladybelles ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

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