His n’ Hers…
“Your car’s a bloody state.”
That was The Him’s first mistake today.
He never really had a hope after that.
He got the raised eyebrow, jetted chin and icy glare which can be translated into:
“Is it really? Well THANK CHRIST you are able to point that out to me. Aren’t you the kind, considerate husband with the observational skills of Jason Fricken Bourne? HOW have I not noticed that my car looks like my children actually live, eat and excrete EXCLUSIVELY in my car? And ACTUALLY I am going for a bespoke, personalised look known as “Mum Car”, which is exclusive to the Mummies and as yet unheard of to most Daddies. Because YOU only have the MessMonsters in your car on a bloody Sunday, when we are allowed to enter the shiny, showroom-perfection of the new Batmobile if we venture out as a family. And YOU don’t allow eating in the Hims car. And for some reason Mini-Me ACTUALLY accepts this in YOUR car because it’s a special FRICKEN Sunday car, like when we had Sunday clothes as children. Remember that? And we put them away until the following Sunday when we’d be allowed to wear them again? That’s what it’s like. So thank you for pointing out yet ANOTHER thing on my never-ending to-do list that I can’t get DOING because I always have two Crazy Frogs with me who need fed and entertained and even sometimes washed! So yes, my car is a BLOODY STATE! And if you had these two in your Manmobile for ONE FRICKEN WEEK, you might not be so smug Mister. And if you don’t like it, CLEAN IT!” 😈😈😈
Obviously, The Him understood my subtext perfectly.
We’re very in synch me and the Him.
He is very clever.
He has seen that look before.
He knows he will not achieve ANYTHING other than a bollocking or violence from it.
He finished strapping Princess in and smiled at me and announced “You look pretty.”
Well played you big brute.👤
For the record, my car is actually quite unusually TIDY at the minute. 😂😂I pride myself on the current absence of banana skins and dropped smarties. And I KNOW what everything in there is. There are no unknown, dangerous looking or toxic things growing beneath their seats. I can still get a VERY faint smell of the Yankee car freshener from Christmas AND there are only 3 dodees on the floor.
I call that a Mammy Win. 💪💞💪
Tell me it’s not just me?
Tell me your cars are awfully dirty and messy and that you could lose a small dog in the chaos of the backseat?🐕
Hope you all had a Super Sunday. Not bad for November is it? 😂😂
Goodnight my Lovelies.
(Ps. I got a few messages today asking where I got the mustard top I wore last night.
I shit you not. ❤❤)
Can you guess which one is His? 👇👇👇