For my final instalment of “I am Some Things the Baby Books Forget to Mention Mum”, I shall impart THE most important truths that any Mammy will EVER need to read. 💋
Thousands upon Thousands of Baby and Parenting Books have been written, all offering varying information and facts to expecting parents. I don’t dismiss them all. Most are afterall, written by experts.
An expert in parenting I am not.
Of course I bought them when I was expecting Mini-Me. What benefit did I get from them?
I loved reading about the development of my little Bubba each week, looking at pics of what she looked like and imagining my own little alien growing in my belly. I read every last word of “What to Expect” and drank up all the information…
Forewarned is forearmed isn’t that what they say?😅
But what was the main lesson I learned?
Well, from the minute you walk in the door of the hospital, anything you have read or researched goes straight out the window, faster than any drug kicks in.
You are not in control.
Even the most informed and prepared Mama Bear is not fully in control of the birth. Anything can happen. And more shockingly, the second your Baby arrives, any idea that you had about being in charge or in control, disappears instantly.
All the plans and informed decisions about routine, feeding, changing, habits, EVERYTHING, become memories as your little one takes you on a journey.
THEY are driving. They are in charge. What they need, you give them. Where you are going, is on an adventure, blind as feck and having no idea where you’re heading. And on this adventure, there is no room for BS Bibles.
So while maternity books and guides are necessary (first time anyway!), it’s the parenting books that I have issue with. Why? Because they often create unachievable goals and, like everything, they suggest that if you are not doing things they way the book outlines, that you are failing.
So what are the only things that EVERY PARENT needs to know?
1. Follow your instincts
2. You’re ALREADY doing a great job.
“Sleep when the baby sleeps”…Yeah right.
“Baby should eat at x hour intervals”… Newsflash. Baby will eat when it’s hungry. He’ll let you know.
“Bath your baby every night”; feck off
“Don’t start them on solids until”… yeah, whatever.
“Your Baby should be…” Let me finish this sentence off for you…
Your Baby should be fed and loved. THAT is all.
And whether you breast-feed or bottle-feed, wear your baby or push him, co-sleep or cot, in your room or nursery, use pampers or mamia, Baby led wean or…just wean, dodee or not, IT DOESN’T MATTER.
How you care for your minion is YOUR business.
If you need help or advice, ask for it.
If you feel that something is wrong, follow your gut and don’t be dismissed by anyone.
If you look at other parents and think they’re better than you, stop comparing yourself.
If you look at other parents and think you’re better than them? Get the fuck over yourself.
Follow your instincts, Do what’s right for you, and most importantly, even covered in puke, stinking like a chicken coup because you haven’t showered in 3 days, jibbering from lack of sleep and riding the hormonal rollercoaster, You’re already doing a great job.
You’re brilliant and your minions wouldn’t have you any other way.
You’re THEIR world. You’re all that they know. You are all that they need. You are enough…
They don’t need a book to tell them that… neither should you.💙
Some days will be chaos on a plate. Others will be jigsaws and giggles.💖💖
Whichever it is in your house today, Keep ‘er lit Mama Bear.
You’re fablis xxxxxx