Dear Bookface Ads & Algorithm
Because WHY you guys think I want to sign up for Quick fixes and weight loss products, is beyond Mammy.
The first thing I saw this morning was an ad for “Shit Yourself Skinny” Coffee (that I didn’t screenshot), which promised that I’d lose 14lb in a week… what? Does the coffee amputate my arse?
These ads 👇👇👇were literally cramming my newsfeed this morning. Why?
I don’t know.
Maybe Facebook thought I looked a bit bloated this morning? 😂
Good job I’m not easily offended! Talk about playing on people’s insecurities. When I looked at my phone today, I was being told that I need to sort out my big fat belly… And my arse. And that then my life would be better.
Fuck off. 🤨
If the algorithmic powers-that-be-stalking-us- through-our-phones were actually doing their job, they’d know I OWN a feckin Jim! (Well, half own, but still!) 😂
But my favourite today, were TWO friend requests from ladies who happen to have a certain Puke Plus all over their timelines… seriously? Am I not used as your training days at this point? I’m sure there’s a slide somewhere warning them DO NOT APPROACH THIS MAMMY! (Especially as my UN-I-CAN unicorn fart capsules are outselling theirs by the stable load!) 🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄
I’m quite happyful with my Wee arse thank you very much Facebook. 😋
And if I’m not, Funnily enough, I don’t need laxatives and corsets to do something about it.
A pissed off Mammy.
(Perfectly happy as I am, but thank you for suggesting otherwise.)😂🦄😋😘💙