I am Sleepless Nights & Schoolbags Mum

Hello Ladybelles.
It’s been a funny old week here at S-Mumblehill.

I feel like it’s been 16 days since Monday. I’m knackered.
Monday was apparently officially the shittiest day of the year. I don’t usually believe this crap but by 8.50am I was agreeing out loud with the radio presenter as I pulled into the school carpark. “YES. Yes it fucking well IS the shittiest day of the year. And it’s not even 9am.”
Mini-Me had been up for yet ANOTHER full fecking night, PLAYING in her room and setting up weird little messy shrines in the fricken hall. “Oh she’s imaginative” said one of my colleagues in a futile attempt to comfort me. My reply…”Well she can be imaginative without creeping around the flipping house at 3am, making an unholy fucking MESS of random crap in my hallway, just outside my bedroom door thank you very much.”
I’d taken great pleasure in bouncing into her bedroom at 7am, turning on the light and singing “Good morning Beautiful. It’s time for schooooool!” (That’ll teach you you little night creeper.) I was prepared for a grumpy little Gollum who would pull the covers up in protest and be like a bag of bitches all day. I WAS NOT prepared for the little face glaring up at me, COVERED in blue. She had drawn ALL OVER her feckin face in blue crayon and both she, AND the pillow, were like something that smurfville had puked up.💙💙
Cue meltdown central, for both of us… Me trying to keep cool and not scream at her and FAILING miserably; her trying to remember wtf was on her face that was making Mammy so mental at Stupid O’Clock…and Princess crawling at my leg shouting “nonononono! ah! Ah! Ah! AH!”

So off I trotted to class, feeling shite at having lost my cool and sent her off to school probably still covered in blue crayon.
#Twatmum.
The rest of the week has been busy and filled with MANY stressful bedtimes, where she’s been up, still wide awake until after 10pm. I have NOOOOO IDEA what is going on. She’s usually so good at bedtime, so this is weird and I PRAY it’s only a phase. I tried letting her have some chill out time in her bedroom before bed. Didn’t work. She just made a complete mess. I’ve even had to lock my bedroom door as she was in there last night and left a trail of my fricken Chanel lippy on the wall. Cheers love. I’m going to do it back to her you know. When she is old enough to have nice stuff, I am going to draw all over her bathroom mirror with her favourite lippy. So there.
So today, I’ve opted for the good old faithful Fresh air stunt. I let her run wild on Fahan beach, 👇👇👇👇 (my ABSOLUTE favourite spot in the world. AN hour there can fix all the world’s problems!), and then directed her towards the trampoline for half an hour when we got home. I’m afraid to look down the hall, but I have a small notion that she MIGHT just be asleep, WITHOUT any hallway adventures.

Fingers crossed. 😂
I am confident that she shall sleep like a cherub until 7am and that I shall NOT break my ankle tripping over a fortress of lego and naked dolls outside the bedroom door. Then, she shall awaken from her slumber and the bad tempered, exhausted, emotional wreck demon I’ve had here all week, shall be replaced by my smiling, perfect little angel… hugely confident.

Well confident enough.

And incase anyone doubts that I’ve lost my shit altogether, here’s my #mammyfuckup of the week… I sent her to school today WITHOUT HER SCHOOLBAG.
Yup.