Anyone else feel like their daughter hates them?
Ever consider that she genuinely was put on Earth to try every ounce and strand of your patience?
Have you ever genuinely wondered how you have fucked it all up so badly already?
Please tell me that someone else goes to bed at night feeling useless and sad and guilty and wondering if it’s all in your head? If the ACTUAL problem is YOU. Not her?
Well last night, this was me…
I was in tears going to bed, having stood watching her sleeping, wondering what the hell I am doing wrong and where the hell to go for help. No matter how much The Him comforted me and told me I’m a great Mammy, I couldn’t believe him. Obviously, if she’s misbehaving and playing up so badly, being so very mean to me and basically doing everything she can to get in trouble, then I must be doing everything wrong mustn’t I?
She’s challenging me. Screaming at me, being bossy and downright horrible if I’m honest. I am not bothered by very many people. I am quite the sharp little Madame if truth be told, but my 5 year old can reduce me to a quivering wreck with one glance.
She’s a Mammy Ninja, whose mission should she choose to accept it is to destroy every strand of strength possessed by her arch enemy, which is apparently these days.
I awoke this morning, after very little sleep because of a certain bed invader who snored her curly wee head off all night, promising myself that I wouldn’t shout. That I would remain calm. That we would have a good morning. And we did as it happens, but rather than be proud of myself or congratulate myself on being Supermammy, I drove to work suspicious of why there hadn’t been a row. I’ve already accepted that Demon-bum will make me pay for it this evening. How fricken ridiculous right?
And then, by pure chance, I bumped into the Mammy of one of her wee friends. She asked how Mini-Me was getting on and then proceeded to tell me that they are having a horrid time with her Mini, and are seriously considering getting “proper” help. She’s challenging them. Screaming at them, being bossy and downright horrible… and it sounded so wonderfully familiar that I nearly hugged the poor woman right there in the shop.
Should hearing that another Mum is going through a tough time with a misbehaving kiddy make me happy? Of course not, but can it make me feel better? You’re darn right it can. We didn’t have time to talk properly but have agreed to a coffee next week so we can discuss our little tyrants, sorry Darlings, properly.
I’ll still have to deal with some form of banshee this evening… and considering that The Him has just informed me that she has been up playing in the hall since 4am, it may be a very special level of crazy Baby that I have to deal with tonight, but hey… As long as I know that it’s not just my Mini who is behaving this way, I think I can already deal with whatever she throws at me…
As always, it’s good to talk and it’s so very brilliant and wonderful when you realize that you are NOT the only Mammy going through something. I hope the other Mammy got the same joy out of my trouble with Mini-Me as I got out of hearing about hers!
#mammysquad #aproblemshared #allinthistogether
3 thoughts on “I am Someone Else Mum”
Can so relate to this … but for me, the issue now is dealing with a hormonally turbo-charged young teenage daughter. All these things you are describing, can you imagine them coming back from a person now adult-sized and physically imposing? And with the words to go with it? Trying to get the phone off her? “just one sec … “now” … “just one sec” … “no, we want it now” … “just one sec” … Phone thrown in our direction, bedroom door slams, again … swearing and shouting … another tantrum. Sometimes it feels like we parents are programmed to lose, no matter what we do, either appeasing and letting certain bad behaviours pass and accentuating good behaviour, or going the other way and imposing limits and boundaries, it seems to end up in the same place. All these goings on fuelled a blog post of mine, a kind of tongue in cheek piece. http://wp.me/p6FNlB-GM
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This is a great read. It’s all ahead of me I suppose!
Thanks so much for the lovely comment.
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There will be days when you wonder why you signed on and how your relationship can possibly recover. It’s the toughest bloody gig in the whole world and it’s not for the faint at heart. Watch them sleep often and think about the fact that “this too shall pass” and that someday it will be a memory. I think we all feel like the worst mom ever even when our kids are grown up.
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