It’s Christmas… I keep reminding myself of that.
Personally, it’s been a crappy week. I can’t pretend it hasn’t. I can’t sit here and write upbeat Christmassy inspiration, when I’m a wee bit broken to be honest.💔
Grief and sadness and disbelief engulfed a community that I’m part of, that has always and will always be my other family.
I’ve missed hugs since March, but never more so than this week.
And yet compared to others and what they’re going through this week, I have no right to be sad. No right at all.
As I write this, my list of things I need “to do and get” sits glaring at me. It’s mocking me I think.
It’s like it’s laughing at me, screaming “Hey Ria. Here’s that list of all the things you thought were important and urgent on Monday. Haha! Not so fecking important now are they?”
I feel a bit stupid now that THAT was the list that just a few days ago, I deemed vital.
OK. Maybe not vital, but important. And in fact, the list IS important. It’s mostly food in fairness, but still.
It’s indulgent. It’s mostly superfluous and it’s far from necessary, and yet, this week, I still need to drag myself to the shops to get it.
Because while I might not feel very Christmassy at this moment, it’s still coming and it’s still going to happen. And it’s my job to make it happen in my house.
And so while I KNOW that in the grand scheme of things, the list is nonsense, I’m going to start to tick it off.
I like lists. They make me feel in control. A good list can make me feel organised and accomplished. The strike of a pen through words can grant the illusion of competency.
A list can make me feel like I’ve actually got my shit together, especially in times where I actually, certainly, definitely, do not.
And so this weekend, I’m making my lists, checking them twice, thrice and then a few more times.
And then day by day and step by step, I’m going to tick things off. And maybe, by pretending I’ve got my shit together, it might magically happen.
My very wise friend Mr Porter, posted last week about his “Tah-Dah!” list and I absolutely LOVE it.
I’m going to look at my To-Do list from last week, strike off the stuff that REALLY doesn’t matter and create a new list of the stuff that I DO want/need to do.
My TahDah list!
And every time I strike something off it, I may sing TahDah! In my most Mary-of-the-Poppins voice. Sure why not?
But seriously, Take a look at YOUR list. How many of the things on that list are absolutely necessary and essential? How many of the things on that list could be deleted? How many of the things on that list are adding unnecessary stress to you?
Whether you’re easing and relaxing into the Christmas festivities calm and full of the joys of the season, or sliding in sideways, a complete train wreck and filled to the brim with worry and chaos, I wish you the best that you can have.
My best and your best don’t need to be the same. And realising that the only person who needs to be happy with YOUR choices this Christmas, is YOU, is honestly and truly the key to contentment.
Hugs to all, especially to all who need one x