It is Feck-it-up FriYay and Mammy has done a wonderful job of fecking ALL of it up today. 😂
Mammy has been asked some very difficult questions today.
In the car, enroute to the paint shop… (because Mammy has realised she is going back to her OTHER full time job in 3 weeks and so doing all of the jobs I have put off for the past 2 years must obviously begin! 😂)
“Mammy, When are you going to die?”
Mammy chokes… “Not for a very long time I hope!”
“Are you going to die before me?”
(Christ alive I do hope so!) Erm, yes Baby, because I’m older, but not for a verrrrrrry long time.
“But who will look after me when you die?”
You’ll be all grown up by then pet. Now let’s talk about something else. What will we have for tea?
“Are Rhinocerouses dinosaurs in real life?”
Erm… No, sure the dinosaurs are all extinct and rhinocerouses are still alive…
“Nocerouses do NOT STINK Mammy. Dat is NOT very nice.”
“Where is Heaven?”
(Feck it.) “Do you not think rhinocerouses stink then?”
“Mammy! Answer me. WHERE is Heaven?”
(Fuckitty fuck fuck fuck…)
“Erm… Some people say it’s above the clouds. Some people say it’s all around us. I’m not really sure…”
“Can I bring my stuff wif me when I go?”
“To Granny’s? Of course!” (Phew!)
“No Silly, to HEAVEN!” (I can feel her rolling her eyes in the backseat.😅)
“So do you just go to sleep and wake up in heaven then?”
Sometimes… Baby these are very hard questions to answer and you really don’t need to be thinking about thisstuff today. Now, what will we have for tea tonight?”
DISTRACT, DISTRACT, DISTRACT… 😂😂
(Oh God get me to the paint shop…)
“How do giraffes lie down?”
I can’t answer THIS obviously. (Is it even a valid question?) But I CAN revert to my favourite answer “I don’t know, but we can look it up when we get home OK?”
And at least if we DID look it up, there’d probably BE an ACTUAL answer! Unlike the other questions.
Who said we should tell our kids the truth?
WTF do you do when you don’t KNOW the answers?
And even if I DID google them, there’s a pretty good chance I still couldn’t give her answers. 😂😂
So yup. Add a “Friday-Fablis-Freezer-dinner” to my USELESS attempts at answering her questions and you’ll see that it wass INDEED a successful Feck-it-up Friday.
Therefore, Mammy feels that it is utterly acceptable and justifiable to pour some grapes… 🍷🍷🍷
How did you Feck-it-up today? 😚😚
Oh and YES I googled it…