​Mice.

Mouses.

Meeces.

Little feckers.🐭🐭
When we first moved in to Smumble-Hill 18 months ago, my dreams of FINALLY being a Domesticated Goddess in my perfect castle were tormented and thwarted for 3 weeks by a family of little “field mice” in the Tiddillyday room.

I’m guessing that my calling them “Field Mice” made most of you think “Ah Ok, not so bad”? You’re probably visualising fat little fluffy characters like Gus and JackJack in Cinderella?

No.

“Field Mice” sound cute.
THESE little twats were far from Cute.  They were rotten, dirty pests who bred like …well mice… and made my life HELL. 

ALL the traps in the world refused to work and I got to the point where I was ACTUALLY KNOCKING on the door of the Tiddillyday room to make sure they knew I was entering and therefore saving us both the drama of me seeing one of the little buggers and their tiny eardrums being BUSTED by my screams.

It was easier.

I eventually stopped going into the offending room until my ANGEL of a Daddy-in-law finally sorted our visitors out with magic sticky sheets.

The room was then bleached and scrubbed within an inch of my life and I no longer had an excuse for avoiding the laundrey! 😅😅
I’m only just over the trauma.
So LAST NIGHT, at 3.12am, when I was taken from my slumber by a SCRATCHING SOUND in the corner of our room, you can IMAGINE the terror…

I couldn’t breath.

I was lying there, afraid to move, trying to establish that the sounds WERE indeed coming from inside the room.

From a bag of books and files The Him 🕵has had in the corner FOREVER…

Therefore, it is HIM’S FAULT that Meeces had returned to haunt me…

Because Him never lifted that bag despite me BEGGING and THREATENING it removed…

Hims fault…🕵

And to top it off, while I was lying there, frozen in fear, HIM was in such a contented sleep that HE SNORED!
So, I did what any sane, calm wife would do…
I kicked him and scared the living Bayjeesus out of him!

Because I was damned if HE would be sleeping soundly while ME was wide awake and FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!
“Wtf? What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” Etc…

“The mice are back!” Hisses Me.

“WHAT MICE?”

” The ones from the Tiddillyday room!” (Because obviously, the dead mice from 18 months ago have come back to haunt me.😂😂)

“FML/grumbles/expletives”
Lights on.

Kicks bag.

No mouses.

Then, we both jump as the noise suddenly comes from BEHIND THE BLIND ABOVE THE BED! 😲😲

Yeah…NOW, he was taking me seriously.

It only took FLYING FECKING MICE for him to understand my blind fear!
So being the brave Superhero type that the Him is, he pulled up the blind, ready to pounce on and kill the evil perpetrator and hence save Hims Damsel in Distress. 

And out flies a HUGE moth.

A MOTH.
NOT a Meece or Mouse or ANYTHING  as terrifying as that.

A moth.
Window open, moth out, lights off…And all was right with the world.

The threat of the killer Mouse was gone.

In other news, have you ever looked at the contentsnof your baby’s nappy and wondered WTF they’ve eaten?

Yeah… 

On that note, I’ll sign off.
Hope your Mondays were Mouse free and Marvellous. 🐭🐭🐭
S-Mum #mice #moths #mayhem