I despise Peppa Pig.🐷
Yes, I said DESPISE!
No, I’m not going a bit too far.
She is a walking, talking, whining, obnoxious little lump of pork, with THE most annoying voice, who tells her Daddy he has a fat tummy, hangs up on her best friend when she is jealous and speaks to her brother George in the most patronising voice EVER!
Peppa drives every Mummy, including Mummy Pig no doubt, to thinking about wine at 1pm.
She’s bratty and irritating and I TRY weekly (in vain) to BAN her from the tellybox in Smumble Hill.
She and I do have ONE thing in common. 😐
We both love jumping in muddy puddles.
Yesterday I completed Hell & Back Hercules in Sligo.
Hell and Back is a 10k (12k really) obstacle course through muck and mud and rivers and all sorts of shit. (It’s on a working farm🚜, so I do not exaggerate here.)
The start was the worst part for me. Talk about the gates of hell…😈😈😈
We were met with AN ICE-BATH where you had to step in and duck yourself under a row of tyres to get out the other side. I am not a fan of water and I surprised myself when I did it. I’d like to say it’s because I’m so brave…in reality, I’m just far too STUBBORN for my own good.
I jumped in, took a deep breath, closed my eyes and pinched my nose and under I went.
I emerged gracefully, like a dolphin leaping beautifully from the sea, without even a ripple behind me and landed like a gymnast…
I remember as I emerge flailing and gasping like a fish that I wear contact lenses and so I have to get my eyes wiped dry before I can open them. I’m trying to wipe them, but the stupid gloves I’m wearing are simply sloshing more water onto my face. I know there are others trying to get out behind me so I have to get out quick. There’s a steward shouting “Focus FOCUS!” at me. I’m shouting back another F word which I shall not repeat right now. He tries to help me out, but the next cretur behind me tumbles me as He emerges from the hell bath and I “graciously” FALL arse first out of the big container and ONTO “Focus Fecker”. In his defence, he catches me, slaps me on the back and kindly and encouragingly screams “GO! GO! GOOOOO!”
But nothing could be worse for me than that start, so off we go!
We wade through rivers, jump over ditches, clamber over round bales, sink into muck, slide down hills, climb over nets and tree logs, fall into sludge, get stuck in the mud, lose shoes…
We get slapped in the face by rogue briars, and stung on the arse by PAINTBALLS as we run through forests.
We get ELECTROCUTED as we crawl under obstacles and SCRATCHED by barbed wire if we don’t keep our bums low to the ground.
We jump, leap, crawl, run, slip, slide and fall.
It’s like The Blair Witch Project combined with The Hunger Games … with a bit of Carry On Camping thrown in for good measure. 😂😂😂
The sounds are memorable.
We hear screams behind us and ominous cheers ahead of us.
There’s some swearing…
OK. Swearing us the language in Hell and Back. There is a LOT of swearing.
But mostly, laughter.
Glorious, bellyaching, snorting and snaughling laughter.
Strangers help strangers.
We get encouragement from people who we’ve never met before.
We get pulled over walls and pushed up slopes and no one really gives a hoot who owns the hand that has the misfortune of pushing your arse up or over!
I surprised MYSELF with how easy I found most of it. I’m fitter than I give myself credit for. I am good at jumping, not bad at falling 😂😂and I can lift my leg higher than I thought I could! 😂 Although the course was long and exhausting, I did it no bother. I think I even surprised the Him. 👤
But what I wasn’t prepared for, was the comeraderie.
28 of the Rushe Fitness gang went to Hell yesterday and I must thank them for being the nicest, kindest, funniest shower of head-the-balls that I’ve ever had the pleasure to spend a day rolling in the mud with!
Even those who finished earlier, waited at the 10ft wall to help the rest of us over, and then we all ran through the finish line together. As a team.
It’s 12km of mayhem, but it’s easily the MOST FUN I’ve had in a long time.
I was 10 again, running through the farm, getting stuck in muck and “accidentally” shocked by electric fencing.
We were grown ups on an adventure.
We were splashing in muddy puddles.
And at the end, I had the nicest Pulled Pork Bap I’ve ever tasted. 😈😈😈
Gotta love Peppa and her muddy puddles don’t ya? 🐷
Look at how shiny and white we were at the start?
Hope you all had a lovely weekend Ladybelles. I’m off for a bath full of Epsom salts…💖??💖💖💖
#hellandback #hellandback2016 #SMum #rushefitness #muddymummy #peppapig