I am Some Proper Fun Mum

Just play…ย ๐Ÿ˜

“We couldn’t!”
“Why not?”
“But people will see!?”
“Just play my wee Darlings. Go kick in the leaves.”
Throw them and toss them and kick them so high
And don’t give a thought to those who ask “why?”
You’re never too old to play and to laugh
And sometimes it’s better to step off the path.
The sounds and the giggles, the freedom, the Smiles.
There is no age limit on being a child.
“We did it!”
“You did. And aren’t you glad?”
There’s no room for self-doubt when there’s fun to be had.

#Londonย #mybabbiesย #life

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ย My Leaving Certs having the time of their lives in Hyde Park on Friday.

I am So like a Unicorn Mum! ๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿฆ„

This day last year.
Still relevant! ๐Ÿ™‚

#children

The S-Mum

โ€‹Another typical car journey from schoolโ€ฆ
Herself: โ€œMammy, did you fart?โ€
Indignation! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ
Me: โ€œNo I did NOT!โ€

Herself: โ€œWell it smells like fart.โ€

Me: โ€œWell it wasnโ€™t me. Anyway, you know Mammy only farts glitter.โ€

Her: โ€œOh, are you like a unicorn?โ€๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿฆ„

Me: โ€œA unicorn?โ€

Her: โ€œYeah a UNICORN. You know how they fart glitter too Mammy? So youโ€™re like a unicorn.โ€

Me: โ€ Yes. Mammy IS like a unicorn.โ€๐Ÿฆ„

Mammy is quite liking the idea of being compared to a FABLIS, majestic, mysterious and beautifully elusive mythical being.

Mammy drifts off on a tangent of thought in which my first book is entitled โ€œMOTHERHOOD: TALES OF GLITTER FARTING UNICORNSโ€โ€ฆ and on the cover, I am styled in a multicoloured unicornesque dress, clattered in glitter and looking all unicorny and wistful and magical.
Her: โ€œSo if youโ€™re like a unicorn, does you burp rainbows too?โ€

(Iโ€™m enjoying this now.)

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I am She’s whistling Mum

Today, Mammy feels a bit like Peppa Pork.

Mini-Me discovered at 6.45am that she can FINALLY whistle. And whistle she did, persistently and consistently, until 7.30pm. It was quite impressive. The only time she stopped whistling was when she was talking, which was quite a bit LESS than most days, as obviously, talking now comes SECOND to whistling.

Now, remember please, that as today is the FIRST DAY of the whistling, for every ACTUAL, succesful, WHISTLY whistle, there were 23 muted, spitty, soundless blows… It was cute until 7.10am. For the rest of the day, it was feckin IRRITATING. She whistled/SPAT at EVERYONE today: shop assistants, friends I bumped into, my buddy who visited, the Grandparents, the aunty, the postman, the guy filling up the petrol… EVERYBODY.

And she’s getting better already. I’m being all Super-soccer-mum, encouraging her and reminding her 36 times an hour in my sing-songy Mammy-of-the-Poppins voice, that “See how good you can get at things when you keep practicing!?” Partially because I’m slightly impressed by her determination ajd partly because Mini-Me suffers from that syndrome I like to call “Why-am-I-not-good-enough-to-be-in-the-Lympics-after-one-lesson syndrome.

But all the while, I’m feeling slightly pissed off and Peppa-ish. See, here’s the thing. Mammy can’t whistle. Never could, never can, never will. And while Peppa could hang up the phone on that bitch Suzie Sheep, Mammy here has to cheer the little spitter along, like her own private fucking cheerleader and pretend to be ecstatic everytime she blows out a feckin NOTE rather than a salivated facefart.

So yes. For the ONLY time in my life, I can empathise with the Pig Prat.

๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿ˜ฃ But I’m luckier than Peppa Pork, because Mammy is old enough to have a glass of grapes to try to remove the whistling from her ears now that Mini-Me has gone to sleep. ๐Ÿท๐Ÿ˜…

(On another note however, look at what ELSE happened today, ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡ 4 x eggs with double yolks!

Apparently it’s good luck? Apparently it means twins? Let’s go with good luck eh? )

How was your Wednesday? ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

I am Say Hi to “Nobody” Mum

Mammy has decided to add a new member to our family.

If my minions can have imaginary friends, and The Him can have Him’s Jim, then Mammy can have one too.

My imaginary friend is fecking FABLIS.

I call my imaginary friend “Nobody”. ๐Ÿ˜‚

“Nobody” is perfect.

“Nobody” notices all the EVERYTHING I do around the house.

“Nobody” notices that the laundry is done, that the floor has been mopped, that the toilets have been cleaned.

“Nobody” is grateful when they find clothes folded and in the wardrobe. Nobody” is grateful when they find food in the fridge or dinner on the cooker.

“Nobody” says Thank You each time they notice how much cleaning I have done.

“Nobody” is helpful.

“Nobody” knows how to put dirty clothes in the wash basket. “Nobody” can work the fecking washing machine…

“Nobody” helps Mammy to cook and plan meals and get healthy food into the minions.

“Nobody” sometimes even offers to go do the grocery shopping.

“Nobody” sees when Mammy hasn’t showered in 2 days and offers to mind the minions long enough for her to put too much argon oil in her hair.

“Nobody” does their share WITHOUT being asked.

But most importantly, “Nobody” listens to Mammy. “Nobody” does what I ask the FIRST time she asks. Mammy NEVER has to shout at “Nobody”, because “Nobody” actually HEARS Mammy’s voice BEFORE she raises it.

“Nobody” is fab.

“Nobody” makes Mammy feel great about herself.

“Nobody” makes Mammy feel appreciated and special.

“Nobody” really understands Mammy. “Nobody” looks at Mammy wondering wtf she is shouting about.

“Nobody” makes Mammy happy, but “Nobody” is only a figment of Mammy’s imagination… a shadow.

Mammy knows that “Nobody” is not an actual person, but somedays, Mammy chooses to imagine that “Nobody” is VERY real, (and Mammy prefers to imagine that “Nobody” looks like a cross between Thor, Wolverine and Gaston, just for fun! Sigh…)

But while “Nobody” might be perfect, they can never give Mammy a hug, or a smile, or a slobbery kiss, like my 3 Somebodies can. ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

And a “Somebody” is always better than a “Nobody” in real life, aren’t they?

Anyway, who wants to live with someone who does all of these things โ˜โ˜that “Nobody” does anyway?

Sure Mammy would have nothing to grumble and feel self-righteous and under-appreciated about then, would she?

So who would YOUR “Nobody” look like and what would “Nobody” do? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜˜

I am Summer Pop-up Mum

Mammy is very pleased with her wee self.
Mammy is OFFICIALLY the “bestest wee Mammy in this whole house”. ๐Ÿ˜… (True story like.)
Mammy is VERY aware that it is not a Birthday, or Christmas, or indeed ANY important occasion which warrents the bestowment of large gifts on her minions, but Mammy is also aware that, as much as The Perfect Parent Manual (written by S. Anctimammy), would disapprove of popping a pop-up pressie for no particular reason, Mammy doesn’t give a continental flibbertygibbet.  
Because tonight, Mammy rocks.
This ladybug pop-up tent and tunnel is WICKED.  It literally POPS UP in 3 seconds AND, best part, it folds up again into a tiny little bag the size of a steering wheel. (Although that has yet to be proven…๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚)

The two Dollies spent 2 whole hours playing in this today, and their wee eyes popped just as much as the tent did when they saw it.  They’ve set up a camp inside it and are in pop-up Heaven.
It cost  ยฃ14.99 in that new Superstore in Derry… Range, it’s called.  It should be called HEAVEN!
It.

Is.

Immense.

(Do NOT go in there unless you have at least 3 hours to spare! It’s unreal.)
So yes, Mammy is very pleased with her wee self, because Mammy is INDEED the “bestest wee Mammy in this whole house”, and for tonight at least, Mini-Me doesn’t miss her teacher! 

(HAH! Take that!… yes, I’m sad.๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜‚)
 So if this ladybug survives my two Hellraisers even for the month of July, and if I can use it as a fun distraction to grab a pee (all by myself! ๐Ÿ˜…) or get to the bottom of a cuppa, then it was worth EVERY penny.

#mammywin

I am Seven Summer Fundays in Donegal Mum


Summer

 

Itโ€™s here.  The summer holidays: when routine goes out the window, the fridge seems to have permanent bums waggling out of it, and we find ourselves wondering, once again, how on earth primary teachers deal with up to 30 of our little minions in one room.  Of course the holidays are great, but they also bring their challenges. The biggest one?

 

Boredom.

 

Kids get bored, verrrrrrrry quickly.  Kids need constant entertainment and fun.  Entertainment and fun cost money, and while there are of course hundreds of things you can do with your minions, here are 7 of my favourite things to do right here at home. They range from absolutely free to the not so free but no matter how often we do these things or go to these places, the girls always enjoy them and feel like theyโ€™ve been somewhere special.

 

In no particular order:

 

 

Glenveagh – Now those of you who follow my blog, know that Glenveagh National Park is a firm favourite in our little family.  We go there 2 or 3 times a month and myself and The Him love it just as much as the girls do.  Itโ€™s only a short drive from Letterkenny, has absolutely NO phone coverage and has THE most stunning landscape in the country.  NOWHERE beats Glenveagh for beauty. The best thing is that entry to the park is absolutely FREE. You can bring a picnic or try some of the insanely good cakes and food in the tearooms there.  We walk the 4k to the castle every and usually take the bus back up as Mini-Meโ€™s legs arenโ€™t quite able for 8K just yet! Bikes are available to hire from Grassroutes in the carpark too and you can get one of the little buggy-trailers for the minions.  The castle grounds are beautiful and while ours are too young to do the full bridal path, there is lots to occupy them (and their imaginations) in the gardens.  (Tell your minions that the gates with the stag heads are the Gates to Santaโ€™s summer house.  Never gets old!)

 

The Beach – We are so blessed to have so many beautiful beaches on our doorsteps. Lisfannon Beach in Fahan is possibly my favourite place in the world.  Itโ€™s not only where I often escape for some sneaky Mam-me time, (seriously, some life changing decisions have been made on this beach), itโ€™s also where I take the girls if we want to have some good old fashioned free fun.  Itโ€™s only 15 minutes from my house, but the girls feel like theyโ€™ve had such a treat, even if we only stop for a 20 minute run-about.  Over the summer, I keep a blanket and buckets in the car, so if we find ourselves nearby, itโ€™s easy to stop here.  I also keep a bag with a change of clothes and a towel in the boot, just incase itโ€™s warm enough for a paddle.  Thereโ€™s loads of parking and in the summertime, thereโ€™s usually an ice-cream van in the carpark.

 

Nature Walks – Mini-Me loves these.  We live in the backend of beyond, so in fairness, even a play in the garden can be a learning curve, but if I really want to occupy them for an hour, I plop Princess in the buggy and off we go.  Mini-Me is beginning to recognise some of the tree types (reminding me  of things that I used to know!) and thereโ€™s a gate at the end of our farm where I once told her the fairy kingdom begins, so she loves to visit there.  She stands on the side of the road talking to the gate, but in her head, sheโ€™s on a serious adventure! Fun fun fun and FREE FREE FREE!

Parks – We love Ballymacool Park.  Just outside the town, itโ€™s peaceful and quiet, even when busy.  Itโ€™s easy to park, has lovely trails for walking and beautiful views. The little playpark is wonderful; clean and full of playthings for kids of all ages.  The best thing about this little area is that itโ€™s fully fenced off, and so no matter what direction Princess runs in, sheโ€™s safe (and enclosed!).  

 

Soft Play – Some days, Soft play is the only answer isnโ€™t it? Especially with the summer weather we get here! The most exciting thing about going to soft play, is going to soft play with OTHER minions.  Itโ€™s win:win; A catch up for the mums, excitement (and a guaranteed successful bedtime) for the kids.  Arena 7, Dizzy Rascals and Century Play are all wonderful and have different features that the kids love, AND they all serve good coffee.  Keep an eye on their pages for deals and rates.

 

The Happy Camper –  Now.  Here is a secret that every parent in the area should know. The Happy Camper at Cooneyโ€™s is probably the ONLY place in Letterkenny where Mammy and Daddy Bear types can get to actually DRINK their cuppa.  Not only are the pancakes incredible, they have a fully childproofed level with a brilliant corner full of toys and chalkboards and books for kids.  There is a stairgate so even your littlest ones are safe to wobble about.  Now that Princess is at the stage of point-blank refusing to sit in a high chair, this spot is perfect for us.  If I meet a mate, we can actually chat.  And if Iโ€™m on my own with the girls, I get to drink my coffee and theyโ€™re in playtime heaven.  

 

Oakfield Park  –  Again, we LOVE Oakfield Park. Itโ€™s only 10 minutes from where we live and great for famiy Sunday-fundays, but also for random afternoons over the holidays. There is a charge to get in of course, but what I love about this place is that every year when they reopen, something new and wonderful has been added to the park. They add to the facility constantly.  The new Buffers Tea rooms are lovely, but you can also bring a picnic along with you. We bought the annual pass this year and itโ€™s great value if you use the park often. The park is stunning, so well kept and beautifully presented.  Thereโ€™s a play park and the Fairy tree is a favourite of Mini-Meโ€™s.  The steam train is a real novelty.  Again, keep an eye on their page for events and activities coming up over the summer.

๐Ÿ˜˜Their Teddy Bear Picnic is on this Wednesday from 12pm๐Ÿ˜˜

https://www.facebook.com/Oakfield.Park/ 

 

 

So there you go.  These are just my top 7 go-to days out and activities in and around Letterkenny, all year round. I’m sure you could all add your own to this list. 

Here’s to a fun summer and some sort of summer weather! 

You can also read this post on my Thoroughly Modern Mammy column here http://www.donegalwoman.ie/2017/07/02/my-top-7-things-to-do-with-my-minions/ 

Join my daily blog on Bookface https://www.facebook.com/the.s.mum/

Or follow my Instagranny @the.s.mum 

I am Secrets Mum

Secrets.
As parents we have sooooo many things that we keep from our kids for as LONG as possible.  There are so many truths and realities that we try our hardest to keep from their little eyes and ears.  As time goes by, it seems that our children’s innocence about all things “real life” is being tarnished earlier and earlier.  As parents, we cringe at the thought of the moment when they suddenly ask a particular question, or learn about particular things.  
We hope we won’t have to face awkward truths like puberty, sex, the birds and the bees, death etc…until they’ve reached a certain, more appropriate age, where we know that they’ll be able to digest whatever information it is. ๐Ÿ˜
But the FIRST TRUTH that we must deal with happens soooooo much earlier than I’d EVER anticipated. 
And it isn’t for the sake of our children that we try to keep it a secret…
Oh no no no no no noooooo!
It’s ALL for the sake of the Mammies and Daddies. It’s completely selfish on our parts and it’s completely necessary. 
Because the longer we can make it before they realise that the dreaded, awful, ride-on, money eating, monstrocities in the shopping centres MOVE IF YOU PUT MONEY INTO THEM, the better for EVERYONE. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
These little fuckers are the enemy of the Mammy.  They are EVERYWHERE. They ESPECIALLY like to lurk at the exits of shopping centres or venues, so that they can lure our minions to their daft, bulgy eyed, smiling faces just as we are trying to get them out of the place.  The Peppa Pork ones are the spawn of these Devils.  Even before our minions know they can MOVE, the oversized (and frankly quite creepy) cartoon characters are plague.  Princess can’t say many words but “Paaapaaaaaa” is as clear as a fecking bell when she sees the stupid pink fecker. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
But as long as they don’t know these things MOVE, life remains safe and normal and manageable.  We can distract them from the primary-coloured puke fest and carry on easily enough.  Once they know that they MOVE, however, the proverbial starts hitting the fan and the coins start hitting the dust.
If 99% of Mammies KNOW instinctively that showing them that these yoks move is a BAD IDEA, HOW do they ever figure it out?
Three ways…
1. They spot another child on them, smiling and weeeeeeeing to their heart’s content and they realise. And then, Game Over Mamma. You lose. ๐Ÿ˜‚
2. Daddies… Because Daddies don’t view these feckers with the same reason or ration that Mammies do. Daddies don’t think of the longterm effects.  Daddies don’t UNDERSTAND the turmoil and torture and tantrums they can cause! ๐Ÿ˜ญ WE see them as torture equipment. Daddies see them as 30 seconds of fun to distract their little ones and themselves. (And they NEVER last more than 30 seconds do they?) ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
3. Grannies/Grandas:  Because they FORGET why they NEVER ALLOWED US on them when we were kids and suddenly see them as another way to be cool and wonderful and “the bestest!” ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 
And once the minions KNOW that these mechanical gobshites MOVE, life is never the same again.  They are armed with this knowledge that changes everything. They see things differently.
To the Mammies whose minions are still immune to the disease that is the ride-on yok, enjoy every second.  Enjoy the innocence.  Enjoy the secret and keep it from them for as long as you can.  ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
To the rest of us… may the odds be ever in your favour and may there be an alternative door you can use to get out of that shopping centre.๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ
And to the creators of and instellers of them, may your nightmares be filled with rocking Peppas and smiling trains, choochooing around your head…all…fecking…night. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡