Monthly Archives: January 2017

I am Such Big Rubber Balls Mum 😂

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​Balls.
Big, plump, inflated, rubber balls.
Best.

Fun.

EVER!
Santa brought Mini-Me a “Fun hopper”.  (I have no idea if that is the correct name for the magical spherical delights, but that’s what myself and my siblings called ours on Walton Mountain many moons ago.  It was blu and had Zig & Zag on it. Good times…)


I hear a rumour that while Santa and Mrs Claus were perusing the workshop for toys that Mini-Me would enjoy, that Mr Claus dismissed the big yellow bouncy thing as pointless ahd a waste of money, whereas Mrs C, who also had a fun hopper as a child many centuries ago, dismissed HIS dismissal and chose it anyway because she knew best and Mrs Claus’s decisions always trump Mr Claus, because despite being a hardworking, clever and  legendary man, he’s still not quite as hardworking, clever or legendary as his wife. Obviously.
And so the magical yellow funhopper with the face of a minion made its way through the dark skies on SC’s sleigh, and into the stocking of Mini-Me.
And oh how glad S-Mum is that Mrs Claus didn’t pay any attention to her Him, because not only is the fun hopper EXACTLY as much fun and craic as she remembers it to be, it is BETTER!
She hasn’t left it since she opened it.  If she has to get something from her room, she uses the hooper to go there. Princess is getting hours of fun from rolling over it, chasing Mini-Me on it and trying to eat it. And my Him, who would NEVER question Hims’s wife’s judgement like thon Santa Twat, has even admitted to it being one of the best toys brought by Santa. (He especially enjoys kicking it out from under her while she bounces.  This is not cruel. It’s teaching her life skills. 🤐😂)
I should admit that it’s not the first big, fat, inflatable rubber ball to have entered our home.


It is not yellow.  It is pink.

It did not have a handle by which S-Mum could boince it up and down the hall.

It was declared pointless ahd ridonkulous and banished to the naughty step of the attic…

It was permitted off the naughty step only when S-Mum hit the upturned turtleness of the third trimester and declared her tailbone fooked.

 Apparently it is helpful for comfortable sitting.  
This is true, but S-Mum’s arse was soooooo inflated that she couldn’t quite get up off the inflated ball and so deemed it too dangerous and never sat on it again. Until AFTER the baby was born when once again, nature had kicked her tailbone up her arse and made the simple pleasure of sitting, quite horrific.  It was used to sit on while watching Coronation Street thereafter, until the cruel sofa could be tolerated once again.  I became quite the expert on the ball actually.  I could even eat a bowl of Cheerios while sitting on it… 

Skill yes?
But since the return of a functioning posterier, the big pink ball has been a thing of ornament in the hall.  It was destined once again for the attic, but the recent arrival of the minion ball has given the big pink ball a new fate…a new purpose.
It is now used by Mini-Me to roll upon and chase Princess up the hall as she half walks/half crawls around, dragging the minion ball with her.
The craic!

The Noise!

The balls.😂
Best.

Fun.

Ever. 😂😂
Do you have an inflatable rubber ball? If not, get one. 😂
I saw them for €6.99 in Smuffs if you don’t want to wait for Santa, sorry,  Mrs Claus to deliver!  😂😂😂

I am She’s Deadly Mum

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Oh it’s been a deadly week.

Or even Deathly…☹☹☹
☹Monday:☹
“Mammy why do people die?”

 (Fuckitty fuck…)

“Erm, they just do Darling.” (Yes… Even as I say it, I know THAT is not an answer and I need to follow it with something else.)  “Sometimes people’s bodies stop working and they die Darling.” 

(Not bad for off the top of my head as I navigate merging in the town’s spaghetti lanes of the one-way system that was possibly designed by a party of drunk monkeys.)

“But why? Why does they die?”

(Fuckitty fuckitty fuck…)

“Because that’s how it is pet.  Sometimes people get old or sick or something happens so they go to sleep for a very long time.”

(Silence.)

“And where do they go?”

(Christ on a stick. I’m so not ready for this. Note to self, find out who has been talking to her about dying.)

“Erm, they leave here and go to Heaven and then they can help look after us.”

“Awwwwwwwwwww yeah yeah yeah. Like Granda Pops?”

“Yes Darling.” (I love that she remembers my Pops.💙💙💙)

“Aaaaaawwwwww yeah,  and like The Dinosaurs? They disappeared too you know?”

(Well that sentiment was nice while it lasted I suppose.😂)

“Do you wanna listen to Frozen?”

“YAAAAAAAAAAY…LET IT GOOOOOOO!” 

Phew.
☹Tuesday:☹
“What happens when EVERYONE in da whole world DIES?”

“That won’t happen Honey.”

“How do YOU know?” (It’s started already. My word is no longer gospel.)

“Because people will always grow up and have babies and then those babies will grow up and have more  babies.” (Unless Children of Men happens, in which case, we’re fooked.😂)

But why come the dinosaurs stopped having babies and all went to Heaven? What if dat happens us? ” 

(Feck you Andy of the Adventuuuuuuures.)

“It won’t Sweetheart. Will we listen to Frozen?”

“Yaaaaaay!”

Etc…
☹Wednesday:☹
“Gwanny are you old?”

“Well I suppose I’m a BIT old.”

“Dat means it’s nearly your turn to DIE YOU KNOW.”

Poor Gwanny. 😅😅😅
☹Thursday:☹
Silence between school gate and car.

Sad face, shaky lower lip and one single tear.

“What’s up Darling?”

“Hemenahemena’s cousin died?”

(Oh fuckitty fuck fuck.  One of the kids must have had a death in the family…)

“Who’s cousin pet?”

Sobbing now…

“PRINCESS POPPY’S COUSIN!  Branch is DIED.”

(Oh you have GOT to be shitting me…)

“Branch from Trolls? How did he die? Sure he’s still in the movie, perfectly safe…”

“No. He got knocked down outside dacimena (the cinema) last night and he dieded!”

(FML)

“Ah pet. It’s ok.” I let her cry for a few minutes and then put on Frozen which eventually distracted her.

Then we got home and she opened her schoolbag and produces this. 👇👇👇👇

The image apparently includes:

🤐 Princess Poppy

🤐 Branch lying dead outside Dacimena☹

🤐 A scrapbook which Poppy is not allowed to scrap in anymore because Branch is dead (note the x through it.)

🤐 a sad face with tears falling out (see close-up) 😂

🤐 a broken heart… literally… a heart with a crack on it.

I’m not sure whether I should be impressed or disturbed.  
☹☹☹Today’s obituaries:☹☹☹

“The death has taken place as the result of an accident outside the Dacimena of Mr Branch Troll. He is survived by Princess Fuckin Poppy Troll and a gang of big grumpy Berkins.  Removal from Dreamworks-in-the-tellybox, to repose in the imagination of Miss Mini-Me, with the fricken dinosaurs. Wake is private please as theres no actual fecking way to visit the remains of an imaginary dead troll os there? And internment will take place at some random point in the future when she remembers that hims dieded or when she decides to become obsessed by a different movie. No flowers please.  Donations in lieu to Mammy’s grapejuice fund.”

Pour.🍷

Now. 

😂😂😂😂😂

I am sipping bubbles in the bubbles Mum-Review of The Shandon Hotel & Spa, Donegal

Posted in food, Holiday, Ireland, review, reviews, s-mum, Staycation, treats, Uncategorized, wine by

​Shandon Hotel and Spa, Dunfanaghy, Co. Donegal.

The Him decided to finally whisk me off for a romantic break in The Shandon Hotel and Spa.

Since it reopened in March 2016, we’ve heard only gushing reports about it so have been very much looking forward to visiting ourselves.

We’re a fussy pair you know? When we do get a little time away on our own, we like exciting food, comfortable and clean surroundings and a little bit of luxury.  The Shandon gave us all this and more.

First Impressions:

Check-in was efficient and quick and friendly.  The foyer is beautiful; very tastefully decorated and perfect for relaxing with a paper or simply enjoying the amazing views of Sheephaven Bay.

Because we visited at Christmas, it had the added sparkle and romance of the Christmas trees and seasonal decorations; beautiful.

Our room was on the third floor. It was large, spacious and ever so clean. The bathroom was small but cleverly appointed, making excellent use of the space. Again, pristine cleanliness. (I love clean…did I mention that?) The window was massive, and like every room in the hotel, overlooked the bay and offered stunning views of the area.

Tea/coffee and shortbread, a safe and all the usual. The only thing I missed were robes, but no biggy.

​ (Our only issue on arrival was that when we got to the third floor, it became clear that there was major work/renovation being carried out upstairs. The noise was deafening. We checked with reception who immediately apologised and assured us that the workmen would be finished shortly and wouldn’t be starting until 10am the next morning. We were happy enough with this, but had we not been booked into the spa at 10am and had we been anticipating a lazy morning until Check out, I would not have been impressed. A small issue for us, but it might have beena disappointment for others, and perhaps we might have been made aware on booking that renovations are underway at certain times.)

But first impressions were good and we instantly relaxed, knowing that we were in for a perfect “switch off”.

Feed me Now!

The hotel bar is comfortable and cozy and has a full wall of window.

It seems that no matter where you go in the building, you are able to see the famous view. It’s wonderful. We enjoyed lunch in the bar and were treated to good conversation and excellent G&T by the lovely Gary.

There was absolutely no problem when I asked for a variation to the Gin menu. He was more than happy to accommodate Little Miss Fussy Knickers here.😂 After lunch, I ordered a glass of wine. I wanted a glass of Malbec, but it only came by the bottle. Gary suggested that he could open the bottle and have it in the restaurant for us for our dinner booking. This is the first time that I have ever been offered this in a busy hotel. We were hugely impressed, and true to his word, the bottle was in the restaurant for us when we arrived that night.

Lunch was superb. The menu is impressive and the wine list and gin menus are extensive. If you visit, you MUST try the Salt and Chilli Prawns. They were HUGE, perfectly cooked and subtly flavoured. The only other place I have had prawns that good, was in a seaside restaurant in Portugal. They were so good that I ordered them again for lunch the next day. The Him had Salmon which was also superb. (The Steak burger he had for lunch the following day was incredible too.) We figured that if lunch was this good, then we were in for a treat at dinner.

We figured right.

The service was perfect. The food was divine. I had a duck confit to start and Seabass (with more of those prawns!) for my main, followed by a Cheese board to match any I’ve had before. The Him had a Crab starter (yum!), a perfectly cooked steak and a lemon tart to finish. There was a sorbet between courses and the Guinness Bread to start was gorgeous.

(I don’t have pics of the dinner as we left the phones in the safe for the evening…imagine!? 😂💖)

The next morning.

Breakfast was excellent; your typical hotel breakfast, but again the standard was high, with lots of little touches like “Shandon Detox water” with lemon and cucumber and homemade smoothies. Very good.

Now!

The Shandon Spa​.

Oh!

      My!

          Word!

We had hoped to visit this on arrival, but it was fully booked. (Check with the spa for availability as early as possible to avoid disappointment.) In hindsight, it was a much better way to do it anyway as rather than have breakfast and head home, we felt like we had a second day away! We checked out after breakfast, threw the bags in the car and were in the spa as it opened at 10am. Again, it was superb; the Reception, the staff, the changing rooms (soooo clean! 😅) and atmosphere was  quiet, relaxing and gentle.

​ We were first into the Thermal Suite that morning.

Ladybelles, it is THE nicest spa I have been to in Ireland.

It is bright and spacious with a spectacular glass wall, again overlooking the bay. Jacuzzi, pressure/massage showers, tropical showers, a herb infused sauna and a little room filled with essential oil steam are only a few of the facilities. It is first class.

Sipping bubbles in the bubbles!

We spent an hour in the Thermal Suite and then headed out to the famous Hot Tub on the balcony. You know when you anticipate something for so long that it ends up a disappointment?

​ Yeah, well that did NOT happen.

We were brought two glasses of chilled prosecco and spent 20 glorious minutes sipping bubbles in the bubbles! It was baltic that morning; cars were frozen in the carpark; my wet hair was frozen by the time we got out; but we were toasty warm and afterwards, you can warm up on the heated marble loungers inside. The tub is magical. It is EVERYTHING I hoped it would be and EVERYONE needs to experience it.

We were then taken off for our treatments. The Him had booked the Spa Sensation Package so we were getting Full Body massages. My therapist was Rita and she was brilliant. The relaxation room offered fruit and water and more views of the bay. We stayed there for about 15 minutes before returning to the changing rooms. Afterwards, you can chill with a selection of teas and coffee in yet another room with sea views beside reception. There are also soft drinks, wine and prosecco available for purchase. What I loved most about this was the lack of rush.

So many other spas tend to want you to leave ASAP after your treatment. “When you’re ready” generally carries the subtext of “Hurry along now!”, but not in The Shandon. We could have sat there drinking tea and enjoying the view (yes again!) for as long as we liked. It really was the most relaxing few hours and I have it on good authority that The Him loved it every bit as much as I did.

Overall, The Shandon Hotel and Spa really is a jewel in the Wild Atlantic Way. It is beautifully appointed, well run and the food and service are equal to any we have enjoyed in any 5 star hotel, both at home and abroad. The spa is exceptional and the setting is perfect. And for us, the fact that it is only a 30 minute drive from home meant that we could escape for 24 hours and still be home quickly to the girls. 💖💖

We returned home completely relaxed and rejuvenated and ready to start the hectic New Year. For some quality time as a couple, it is the perfect location. We only wish we had been able to go over earlier on the first day so we might have gone for a walk on the gorgeous beach and had a look at the leisure centre and pool…

Next time!

We can’t wait to visit again, and might just have to make it an annual anniversary trip. (But I’m already planning a night with my Girls in February, because as romantic as it is, it would also be the perfect spot for a girly catch up, gossip and giggles and some first class pampering. Sssssh! I won’t tell Him just yet! 😂💙)

Congratulations to the Shandon team on creating a magical hideaway, right on our doorstep.

If you’d like more information, here’s their website. http://shandonhotelspa.com

And find me on Bookface @the.s.mum for polite and shy daily musings about motherhood… 😂

The Shandon Hotel and Spa gets a Super 💋💋💋💋💋from The S-Mum!

 Please note: I write this review simply because I feel like it and because the hotel deserves it.  We paid for our stay in full and I have no ulterior reason for my gushing, other than having had a wonderful time.

I am She’s Naming Babies Mum

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​Is there ANYTHING more exciting and wonderful and joyful than hearing that one of your best buddies has just had a baby?
It puts EVERYONE in a good mood doesn’t it?  As the news of a birth filters through a room, even the crankiest face melts into a genuine smile and a little burst of love just radiates out of everyone, if only for a split second.  It’s one of those special feelings that if we could bottle, would be priceless.
Well, my friend had a perfect little Princess and she’s ADORABLE.  I’ve seen the photographs (and despite S-Mum being very happy with my 2.4 rascals, one of my ovaries MAY have done a little flip…just a small one mind you!😂😂)  There’s something so incredibly heart warming and love inducing about that first snap of a beautiful, squishee, perfect little bundle. I can’t WAIT to go visit and get a squeeze.  😇😇
So I pick up Mini-Me from school and as we’re getting into the car, I tell her the news.

(I’m changing the names because it’s not my news to share 💚, but the conversation went like this…)
“Guess who got a new baby today?”

“Who?”

“Mary!”

“No waaaaaay?”

“Is it a boy baby or a gurl baby?”

“A little girl.”

“Does her have a name?”

“Yes! It’s Anna May.”

“Nooooooooooo! It’s NOT! You wing her wight now and tell her she got the wong name!”

“The wrong name?”

“Yes.  The Baby’s name is supposedabe Rosie.”

“Rosie?”

“Yes Mammy. ROSIE SPARKLES.”

“Rosie Sparkles is your fairy’s name Darling.”

OkAAAAAY then.  She can call her ROSIE SPARKLES Anna May then! Wing her now.”

“I will not.  She’s the baby’s Mammy and it’s HER job to give the baby a name and Anna May is a LOVELY name. Ok?”

Silence…

“Fine then.  Rosie Anna May then…”
I ask you… 😂😂
And you know what? I have just text the Beautiful new Supermum to inform her of the change in her naming plans, because this little Madam will refuse point blank to call her anything other than fricken Rosie!   
It’s perfectly reasonable to let your friend’s Child name your baby after her Fairy isn’t it?  
Of course it is! 😂😂😂😂

I am Some Buck Andy Mum

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Lookit. 👇👇👇👇

Look at this big, gangly, grinning, daft, handsome fecker? 😂

It’s Andy from “Andy’s Prehistoric Adventures”. (How many of you just sang “Andeesprehistoricaaad-ventuuuuuuuuures” in your head?😂😂)
For SOME reason, this show has the ability to stop both Mini-Me AND the terror that is my Princess in their housewrecking tracks.
It’s clever. It’s well made and like most CBeebies stuff, pretty educational and entertaining. 
 It also prepares my girls for real life…for the real world.  There are many lessons to be learned from Andy, and they aren’t ALL about Dipladoci and time travel.
Andy is preparing them for living with a man.
Here’s why.

1. He’s a scatterbrained, feckless eejit with all of the good intentions in the world and feck all organisation 

skills.
2. He only gets off his arse to DO anything when he hears Mrs Pickles (the crabbit oul Bosswoman) coming down the hall with a walk that would put any Trunchbull Headmistress to shame.  Just like most men, he waits until he knows Mrs Whatever is ready to lose the fricken BAP before he realises he needs to do something QUICKLY! 😠
3. He’s a clumsy git who is usually to blame for his own drama. (And if he’s not to blame, it’s the fault of the unsuspecting maintenance cretur.) But interestingly enough it’s always the fault of a man. 😅😅

4. He comes out with crap like “Mrs Pickles won’t be happy” and “OH NO! We’ll NEVER get it done NOW!” State the obvious there ya tool.
5. He loves to say “We need time. I know! We’ll MAKE time!”  If only it was that easy Andy.  If only we had your time machine and ability to know EXACTLY what year to go back to in order to fix the problem. Even if I DID have a time machine, I wouldn’t even KNOW what year to go back to in order to prevent all of MY problems.  (Probably 1980! 😂)
6. His poor sidekick Jen, works her arse off and keeps the museum running quietly.  He has nooooo idea what she does exactly, or how much work goes into keeping everything ticking over, and yet he turns up when there’s a problem, offers the solution as if he’s a genius and takes all the credit. 
7.  “Where’s he always running off to by himself?” Jen asks herself this question everyday. How does this prepare my daughters for cohabiting? Because the answer is easy.  He’s fecked off to the FECKING TOILET, with his FECKING i-phone, where he MUST go on a time travel adventure because apparently it takes him 45 minutes to poo, while Mums can do it it 25 feckin seconds…hands washed and EVERYTHING. 😂😠😂😠😂
8. “Oh no. I’ve landed in a swamp!”  Really? You can travel back 36million years but you can’t figure out how to land the thing on dry ground? I know.  TRY READING THE INSTRUCTIONS! Or you know, using the GPS which is most likely installed in your machine… or is it only there for decoration like the one in your car? Numpty…
9. He only moves fast and efficiently if his life depends on it…like when he’s been “hunted by a facilliasaurus” – or in reality when he hears his Mrs “doyathinkshesaurus” driving into the street.
10. He has a cheeky grin that allows us to forget his plonkerisms, he’s the best looking buck on the Tellybox all day, AND he keeps the kiddies entertained for at least 8 minutes.  For Number 10, we shall forgive him.
AND, he IS reliable and despite Poor Jen not having a clue how he does it, if there’s a problem, he generally FIXES it. Because he’s her Him and he looks after his own wee corner. 💙💙💙