Tag Archives: baby

I am Suddenly Reminded Mum

Posted in children, Uncategorized by

Sometimes we need reminded that our Little Ones are indeed only little.

When Princess was born a few weeks ago, Mini Me seemed to grow up overnight.  She suddenly got taller and turned from a toddler into a little girl.  I’ve been watching her in awe since I returned home from hospital.  I’m not quite sure how it happened, but she is quite the little independent woman.

Having a newborn on my knee, I find myself wondering how it’s possible that the most advanced species on the planet can give birth to the most helpless offspring.

im-only-a-baby

A baby calf gets up to walk within moments of being born, but our little pink and squishy babies remain completely dependent on us for years.  It’s quite amazing.  And still, the nicest feeling in the world is knowing that your baby needs nothing but you to survive.  The frightening thing is that without you, she can’t.

We give our babies everything that they need.  We help them to grow.  We don’t get a handbook.  We make it up as we go along and shockingly, we generally do a good job.  As I look at Mini-me in all her “almost fourness”, I am proud of how she’s developing.  She’s stroppy and strong-willed, but sweet and sensitive. She’s clever and funny and ever so dramatic. (Not sure where she gets the drama!) I have a little girl, who has a little curl etc.  She’s so grown up, and then she isn’t.

Because she understands every word we say and because she’s able to articulate her thoughts well, we’ve made the mistake of assuming that she fully understands the world around her.

She doesn’t.

As tall and “grown up” as she suddenly seems, on Sunday past I was Suddenly Reminded that she is still only a baby.  She doesn’t understand the things that we assume her to.  She’s finding her way through a terrifying world (aren’t we all?) and she still needs Mammy and Daddy to guide her in every step.

And the dramatic and sudden reminder?

We went to see Santa Claus.

Mini-Me and her new sister were dressed in their pretty Christmas dresses and we were all suitably excited.  It’s the first year that she is really enjoying the build up to Christmas and she was excited to bring the new baby to meet the Big Man.  We stood in the queue.  We met Santa.  They got their picture taken and she got a present.

And then, we all went for coffee.

As we were relaxing, the Big brother took the little horse set out of the box for her to play with.  We were chattering among ourselves, when suddenly she began to cry.  Asking her what was possibly wrong, she announced through her sobs “Santa didn’t listen.  I asked for baby Annabelle!” and the quiet sobs turned to a wail.

Well, we didn’t know what to do.  We looked at each other with disbelief and the sudden realisation that our big grown-up girl was genuinely upset.  And as I looked at her devastated little face, the baby returned in front of my eyes.  She was suddenly three again.  Not the “Big Sister” or the “Big girl” that we’ve been calling her since Baby arrived.

Just my Mini-me Threenager…and she was heartbroken.

She thought that that was it;  that Santa had been and that Christmas was over.  She didn’t understand that this was simply a pre-Christmas, traditional treat.

Why?

Because we never thought to explain it to her.

santa

While we had been talking about going to see Santa, she thought that this was the Santa who comes in the night and leaves presents.  She thought that this was it.  And as we were obliviously sipping our coffees, she was experiencing a massive first… true disappointment.

Daddy swiftly lifted her onto his knee for a hug and wiped the big tears dripping down her chubby cheeks.  We all leapt into action, laughing and calmly explaining that Santa had simply brought her a treat today and that it isn’t Christmas yet.  We went back to basics, explaining the whole concept of Christmas: about Baby Jesus coming, about her aunties and uncles coming home, about hanging up the stockings and about waking up on Christmas morning; any possible benchmarks that will help her to recognise actual Christmas.

We threw all the cliched lines at her.  “If you’re good, Santa will…”  “It’s Christmas time, but it’s not Christmas Day yet.”  “9 more sleeps…” etc.  And happily, she calmed down and returned to playing with the horses.

Crisis averted, but lesson learned.

People had warned us that when the new baby arrived, she would suddenly seem so big and so grown-up.  And they were right.

But what we had to learn for ourselves is that big and all as she seems, she’s still only a little child.  We may have begun to expect too much from her.  Yes, the baby is vulnerable and totally dependent on us, but just because Mini-Me can dress herself, it doesn’t mean that she isn’t also vulnerable and dependent.

And so, with both Mammy and Daddy feeling suitably guilty and slightly foolish, we finished our coffee and directed our wee family back through the craziness of the Christmas shoppers towards the car.

Mini-me had learned something, but the biggest lesson was learned by her Grown-ups.

I am Suddenly Reminded Mum.

little

 

I am Sick-of-Screens Mum.

Posted in children, family, parenting, technology by

  SmartPhone_child1

Put down the screen Dad, I’m right over here.

I want you to look at me, give me your ear.

What I have to say will not wait till you’re done.

I want your attention.  I want to have fun.

Put down the screen Mum, it’s really not clear

Why you must stare at it when I am right here.

My problems and needs require only you.

I don’t understand “In a second”. Do you?

Because “in a second”, I’ve grown even more.

I’ve spilled the whole Lego box out on the floor.

I’ve fallen and cut myself, bumped my wee knee.

I’ve not quite made it to the toilet to wee;

And then you are scolding and I’m so confused.

Why didn’t you look at me, instead of your news?

What’s so important that you have to stare

At things that in five minutes, still will be there?

Your virtual friends are not really real,

They don’t hold your hand or care how your hugs feel.

They don’t need you right now. They don’t even care

If you like them or follow them.  They’re not really there.

So when you are with me, in real time, right now,

It’s much more important to think about how

You are my world, the one world I need.

My virtual, actual, only news feed.

So put down the screen and look into my eyes,

Because I’m getting so big and time really flies.

Replies, mail and comments will wait ’til I sleep.

Why not make memories that we can keep?

Why spend your time looking at what people share?

When all that you need in your life is right here,

Waiting and watching you stare at the screen

Wondering what I must do to be seen.

It’s very important to look at me now.

See what I’m doing and let me know how

There’s nothing more special or vital in life

Than your beautiful children, your husband, your wife…

So put down the screen Dad and look at me Mum.

Because you are missing the real life that comes

With real conversation, with playing, with fun…

The things that can’t be found by scrolling your thumb.

The true affirmation that you need each day,

Is patiently sitting here, trying to say

“I love you”; “I need you”; “I like you”; “You’re mine”…

So put down the screen please and give me your time.

kids text

I am Sick-of-Screens Mum.

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I am Sleepy Mum

Posted in children, toddlers by

“I am vewy disappointed in your behaviour!”

These are the words that I heard through the baby monitor at around 3am. I heaved my backside out of bed and waddled across the hall to see who exactly had disappointed my threenager at this ridiculous hour.

sleepy

Mini-me was sitting upright in her bed, having assembled her dollies and teddy bears around her and was wide awake and quite happily giving orders and giving out to her audience.

“Are you Ok Baby?” I asked carefully.

“I’m the teacher Mammy,” she announced as if this was perfectly acceptable behaviour in the middle of the night.

“Percy Penguin had to go in the naughty corner cos he’s been very cheeky and I’m very disappointed wif his behaviour.”

In the dim light from the hall, I could see that poor Percy was lying, fluffy arse up, in the toy box, having obviously been launched across the room by Teacher.

What had he done?  Who knows, but it was enough to warrant his banishment to the dark side. And Mini-Me was determined that he deserved his punishment.

“Aw Poor Percy. Will Mammy lift him up to you again?” I ventured.

“No!  He is not being a very good penguin!” she scolded.

“Okay, okay.  Can you please go back to sleep now Honey?  It’s the middle of the night.”

“But Mammy, I have to be the teacher!”

“You can be the teacher in the morning.”

You can imagine the rest of the conversation.  As I sat at the bottom of the bed, begging her to go back to sleep, I struggled not to laugh at the utter determination on her face as she completely and truly believed everything that was taking place in her imagination.  And yet, I couldn’t help but stare and smile at how utterly beautiful her innocent little face was in the nightlight.  Everything that was happening in her mind was absolutely real to her. And if it hadn’t been the middle of the night, I would have encouraged it.

Humorous little girl playing teacher in classroom

Since starting Pre-school, Little Miss Bossy Pants has been blossoming by the day. Her imagination has exploded from already very vivid, to absolutely crazy.  She’s mimicking her lovely new teachers.  She’s turned her teddybears into her “students”.  Even though she’s never seen me in the classroom, she’s playing the “School teacher” in a way that maybe only the daughter of one, can.

She eventually went back to sleep.  I eventually got back to my own bed.  As shattered as I was, it was a relief that she was awake for such silly reasons.  She wasn’t sick.  She wasn’t having bad dreams and she wasn’t crying.  So I had nothing to complain about.  I drifted back to sleep, laughing to myself at the ridiculousness of the conversations one can have with a three year old at 4am.

Maybe she’s doing me a favour.  Maybe she’s so clever that she’s easing Mammy into the world of sleepless nights again in preparation for Babba number 2? Or Maybe Percy was quite simply being a bold penguin.

Regardless of what exactly caused her to leave her dreams and wake up for full-on playtime at stupid o’clock, she bounced out of bed this morning and happily lifted Percy Penguin from his exile.  Putting him back on the bed, she announced “Now, I hope you’ve learned your lesson Percy.  I don’t want to see that behaviour again.”  Whatever his crime, she hadn’t forgotten, but she’d forgiven him.

In the same way, as parents, we quickly forget the pain of being ripped from our sleep in the middle of the night as long as our little rascals are Ok.

But tonight, if she decides to play Teacher, I hope that Poor Percy behaves himself!

I am Sleepy Mum. 🙂

tired

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I am Somedays Mum

Posted in family, parenting, time, toddlers by

Some days are for wearing whatever concoction of clothing Mini-Me decides she wants to wear.

Some days are for twirling in sparkly dresses; around and around; just because. spinning

Some days are for snuggling into the soft mat and watching Sleeping Beauty – and all the extra features and trailers that we usually skip past.

Some days are for staying the PJs, for not even considering brushing hair or washing faces.

Some days are for stopping what I am doing to watch her dancing in her own wee world, instead of just being glad that she’s occupying herself for 5 minutes while I peel potatoes.

Somedays are for cracking eggs and baking cupcakes, and not worrying about the mess or how many pieces of shell end up on the counter.

Some days are for pretending to steal her little nose!

logic

Some days are for not doing very much housework, but just chatting to a three year old.  It’s amazing how the logic of our world can seem so ridiculous when a child explains how they see it. “Mammy, you get off that seat and go over there.  I have to push that seat and you’re still on it cos Percy Penguin needs to go swimming!”  Okay!

Some days are for cutting sandwiches into star shapes and making up stories about them.

Some days are for playing Hide n’ Seek.  Not just counting to appease her and then pretending I don’t see her for a few minutes; for actually stopping what I’m doing and playing it.  It’s amazing where this S-Mum can still fit when she puts her mind to it!

Some days are for just stopping to be glad that these Some days exist.

Some days are for making memories instead of catching them as they flit past.

Some days are for smiling. 🙂

I am Some days Mum. life laughing

I am Sick Baby Mum

Posted in children, parenting, temperature by

SickChildHow do I know when my Mini-Me is sick?  Because I take her temperature?  Because I know the symptoms? Because the doctor says so? Because I just know?

No. (Well OK, Yes.)

But, I know that my particular Mini Me is particularly out of sorts because she presses pause on her life’s mission of convincing me that she hates me, and for just a short time she won’t let me out of her sight!

As the mummy of a Threenager, I am now becoming used to the fact that to her, I am Public Enemy Number 1.  When Mammy says no, she runs to her “wee Daddy Bear” or Granny, or Uncle, or indeed the Dog.  I have caught her sitting beside the beast that is our 6 year old puppy, filling him in on how bold Mammy is.

She uses Mammy to test her boundaries, to learn to use her voice, to establish her tone and to practice all of her communication skills.  Yesterday, she moved on to giving me my full title to denote her discontentment…”Mammy Ria Wushe!” It was quite impressive actually.

I’m often reminded of one of my favourite poems by Sylvia Plath, “Morning song”.  For years, I’ve been teaching the lines

“I’m no more your mother
Than the cloud that distills a mirror to reflect its own slow
Effacement at the wind’s hand.”

…And while I have always understood the lines, until I became a Mammy, I never really understood them.

I understand them now: I’m nothing but a big puddle into which she sticks her chubby little toe to test the waters of life.

dipping-toe-in-pool-of-possibility

She uses me to learn how to assert herself, and she does it so well that Hubby even admitted this afternoon that she’s a little bit scary!  She uses me to develop her social skills, to suss out how relationships work.  I am her metaphoric punch bag: her dress rehearsal.

So when Mini Me spends two whole days on the sofa, refusing to let me out of her sight; when she says the words “Mammy I neeeeeeed you.” at least a dozen times a day; when I can’t even leave the room long enough to pee without her calling for me…that’s when I know she’s not herself.  That’s how I know that she’s ailing for something or just not feeling her best.

It might come before the temperature or the sniffles or the trip to the doctor.  It might last the whole length of whatever nasty little bug she’s picked up this time.  It might be exhausting, especially at 3am.  But it’s how I’m reminded that despite being her arch nemesis most of the time, I am indeed her Mammy and she loves me.

And I’ll happily admit that while I obviously enjoy hugs and snuggles without the bugs and sniffles, I’ll sit on that sofa in my PJs watching re-runs of RTE Junior until my little Peppa Piggy is better and wants to go splashing in those muddy puddles again.

I am Sick Baby Mum. 🙂peppa