“I’m not your best fwend Mammy. I’m Danielle’s best fwend”…
And there it was. In one simple sentence, I’d been categorically dumped by my Mini Me.
When I had my little girl, my aunt told me that I’d been blessed with my very own best friend forever. We see signs and cards and photo-frames everywhere, stating that a daughter is a friend for life etc. And this is largely true.
In my own case, I’ve been blessed with a wonderful Mum who I can happily call my absolute, all time, unconditional BFF. We had our moments while I was (am) growing up, but we typify that stereotypical Mother/Daughter relationship and I know how very lucky I am. Friends may come and go. Let’s be honest, only a handful are really there for the long haul, but Mamma Bear is a constant. 🙂
When Mini-me passed through the baby stage and began to bloom into the pleasant-if-sometimes-terrifying little personality that she is, I began to fully appreciate her role as my bestie. We do everything together; we have fun, we fight and we laugh and we cry. We bake, we go shopping, we play and we are wonderful at doing absolutely nothing together. We work.
In a world where everyone is busy and where as parents, we can often find ourselves a little isolated and out of the social loop for whatever reason, our friendships with our toddlers become more important to us than we can ever give them credit for. She’s my companion and will always be 100% on my side (except for when she’s not!). I know she has my back and I have to admit that I fell into the false security that I did indeed have my very own, custom made best friend.
Until, like Snow White’s stepmother I asked the stupid question. The question that I had allowed to become a daily certainty; an ego boost even.
Every day, “Who’s Mammy’s best friend?” was answered with “Meeeeeeeee!” and usually accompanied by a giant cuddle and slobbery kiss…until Friday.
Mini Me was in her car seat, engrossed in a Tinkerbell book. We were driving to playschool and I was chattering about what we’d do that afternoon when I collected her.
I may as well have looked in the mirror and chanted “Baby, baby, in the chair, Who’s your bestest friend in the world?” Without a second’s thought, she announced “I’m not your best fwend Mammy. I’m Danielle’s best fwend”... and with that, the mirrors and illusions of my assumed Disney-perfect Mother and Daughter world, shattered into a thousand pieces.
Initially I laughed. What else do you do? (For the record, the little girl in question is a wonderfully perfect BFF for my precious one.) I posted it on Facebook and other people laughed. Of course! It is pretty hilarious, but the reality is, it marks yet another milestone in her little life and it freaked me the hell out!
She’s branching out. She’s socially accepted, popular even. She’s making her own friends and she’s growing up far too fast. It’s wonderful and it’s terrifying all at once, because while we parents encourage our little ones to grow and bloom every day, realizing that you’re not the only thing your child needs in life, is just horrid.
We might be smiling, but we don’t have to like it.
Instead, we treasure every second, count every milestone, and celebrate every chapter. We capture special moments in our memories, (or on our phones if we can!) We post on social media with pride. We entertain others with our cute kiddies and we get through each day as best we can. But sometimes, we get an inevitable slap in the face from our little angels as they take their own uncertain little stumblings through the big dark forest of the world.
As time goes on, I’m probably going to assume the persona of the Wicked Witch in my daughter’s eyes, rather than the perfect loving Queen. That seems to be inevitable, but what is also inevitable is the certainty that some day, she’ll realize that Mammy IS actually her best friend again. And until then, I can keep on asking the question and hope that the odd day, I get the answer I like!
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I am Suddenly Dumped Mum.
The S-Mum 