Tag Archives: kids

I am Sweet Jebus will you SSSSSH Mum!

Posted in blog, children, parenting, wine by

​Today was a proud day.

One of great achievements and memorable moments…
Yes, ACHIEVEMENTS and MEMORABLE MOMENTS…
The biggest of these being Mini-Me’s greeting to me as I walked into a VERY busy restaurant to meet herself and The Him for lunch after her first day at school.
“HI MAMMY I HAD A GREAT DAY AND I DIDNT EVEN PEE MY PANTS!”
And no, my Caps Lock DIDN’T just get jammed.  
I am trying to convey the FECKIN VOLUME of her exclamation of her great ACHIEVEMENT.
And the best fun?

As I hushed her and sat down whispering “Good Girl, but please don’t be shouting that or others will hear you”, the lady behind us laughed and announced, “Oh! We’ve heard this already! She’s had a great day haven’t you Sweetie?” 😲
What.

The.

Actual.

Fuck?😣😣😣
I looked at The Him who was buckled laughing.  
APPARENTLY, our gorgeous little munchkin had walked in the front door when they arrived and PROUDLY announced to the OWNER and ALL of his customers,  “Martin, I started  big school AND I DIDN’T PEE MY PANTS!”😲😂😂😂
At the top of her voice, of course!
So yes.

Great ACHIEVEMENTS  and MEMORABLE MOMENTS. 😂
Just not the ones I thought I’d be writing about today… you know… on the day that my first born started school!

But sure hey!
She had a great day and she didn’t pee her pants and she wants to go back tomorrow, so I think that’s a result all round, don’t you?
So yes… Mummy deserves a grapejuice. 🍷
Hope all the Minions got on well back at school. 😙😙😙


Enjoy normality Ladybelles!
Check out the S-mumblings on my Facebook page… @secretsofsmum 

I am She cracks me up Mum 

Posted in blog, children, family by

​I am She cracks me up Mum.
Mini-Me before bed: “Mammy, What did the witto children in Afwica do when St. Patwick was chasing the snakes away?”
Me: 

Absolute silence…

(I was trying to figure out if this was a serious question or a joke she’d heard somewhere, in which case I’d have been wondering WHO the HECK I would have to be bollocking about such subject matter for conversation with a 4 year old?)
Mini-Me Me: “Mammy, what did the witto children…”
Me: (because I couldn’t actually think of ANYTHING to answer her with) “I don’t know Sweetie.  Do you want two stories tonight because you’ve been such a good girl?” 
Mini-Me: “YAY!”
Mammy win.

Distraction rocks… (Some might say BRIBERY…I will stick with DISTRACTION.) 
She is a funny little thing.😍😍

When asked today at camp what she wanted her face painted as, her reply was apparently “Elsa and the Hulk.”

Now, I pride myself on NOT allowing gender differentiation to be a factor in our home.  The girls have tractors and football and we’re all about the Superheroes.

Either I’m doing a wonderful job or I’m raising a badtempered, violent Princess.

We’ll see…

Regardless, she came home as a giraffe! 🐆

It was adorable.

However, there is now yellow facepaint EVERYWHERE and I can’t get it off properly so she has gone to bed looking like a jaundiced minion. 😂😂😂
SO, she is FUNNY, but also very ASSERTIVE and POLITE.
On Monday night, Granda was turning hay in the field next door after she’d gone to bed. I told her he’d be finished soon and to go back to sleep.

 On Tuesday morning, this 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 was stuck to the inside of her bedroom window.


I didn’t take much notice really, thinking it was a note to her fairy.  She loves blutack and writes on everything.  (I was just glad she hadn’t written on the glass. 😅)
This morning The Him 🕵asked her what it was.
It says “Dear Granda.  NO FARMING AFTER BEDTIME. Thank you!”
Poor Granda was busting himself to literally ‘make hay while the sun shines’, but Madam Moralknickers had other ideas.

Well she’s polite if a bit bossy! 😂😍😍
I may have to start buying presents 🍷 for her new teacher…

Bribery?  

How dare you…it’s simply Distraction! 

😂😂
#SMum

I am So excited Mum

Posted in children, parenting, toddlers by

S-Mum is VERRRRRY excited today.

I woke up to this picture.

The lovely folk at Maternity & Infant magazine have featured me as their Blog We Log in theor Autumn edition.

It’s very surreal and wonderfully smilifying to see my words in real live PRINT! 

So because I woke up an A-list CELEBRITY TYPE, I obviously had to go to THE Stylist to the Stars to get my WhinBush tamed.

Ciara Mc Veigh-Lunn is currently Beautifying my mane.😘
One HAS to be looking all naturally fablis and suitably shocked when one greets the Papps who are OBVIOUSLY going to be waiting outside when I try to leave.  
I may have to hire security.
I wonder if Victoria B would consider being my friend now? We could have cawfee and be fablis together. 

 (She’d obvs have to change her hairdresser to be as cool as me.) 
We should be BFFs anyway.
Our Mini-Mes are the same age and we both have fit Hims and we’re practically identical anyway like! I wonder what size her shoes are? Imagine sharing her wardrobe… 😲😲😲

Sigh…
Did I tell you my mug and S-mumblings are in PRINT this morning?😂😂

Do you think I have enough copies? 😂😂

It is a Thoroughly Fablis Thursday.

Have a good one Bitcheepooooos xxx

I am Some reality Mum

Posted in children, parenting, swear words, tantrums, Uncategorized, wine by

For anyone who complains that Mummy bloggers portray an unrealistic and ideal life… they’re reading the wrong bloggers.

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Mini-Me has upped her Bitch-game this evening. Seriously, there are teenagers with less attitude.
Am trying to remind myself that “a strong-willed daughter will be a strong woman, able for anything the world can throw at her.” Whatever…

Tonight, SHE threw EVERYTHING at me before bed. Tantrums, crying, huffing, puffing and death stares. She threw herself onto her bed, arm across her face, sighing and declaring dramatically “I am just FED UP.” (Looks through elbow to see if she’s getting required reaction.)

I had to leave the room; Part of me laughing at how hilarious she is, part of me DYING a little inside that I saw myself in front of my own eyes. 😳😳😳
Bad Mammy.
Bad, not-doing-anything-right, setting-seriously-bad-examples, fucking-my-child’s-emotional-responses, opposite-of-positive-parenting BAAAAAAD MAMMY.

Deep breaths. Compose oneself. Remember who is in charge…
(Little voice… “She is. She’s in charge you Crazy Woman…”) 😈

I eventually got her settled, read “The Dinosaur that Pooped the Bed” and tucked her in.
Then I came up the hall to THIS MESS.👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

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I don’t even know where to start, and so I’m ranting to you, my lovely S-Mummies 💖, to avoid it…

And to stop myself from pouring a HUMONGOUS grape-juice. 🍷😂

On a BRIGHTER NOTE… 🌞🌞🌞

I almost puked in public today. 😂😂

Week three of #operationskinnyarse began with the most terrifying and dreaded piece of equipment in the gym…
The mat.
I shit you not. It turns out that the most torturous, challenging, hardcore machine in there is my own fricken bodyweight and a mat.
Who knew?

Hope your Monday was equally as wonderful as mine.
Maybe Winnie the Poop was right! 😂

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Over and out…
🛌🛏🛌🛏

#SMum #Mammyblogger #Mummy #MiniMeAndPrincess #glammymammy #meandmygirls #parentblogger #RealStruggles #reallife

Find me on Facebook @secretssofsmum

Instagram @the.s.mum

 

I am Simple act of Kindness Mum

Posted in children, family, parenting, toddlers by

Yesterday, I ran into a lovely young Mammy whose little Princess was born on the same day as my Mini-Me.

We’ve known each other for many years, because once upon a time, I had the pleasure of being her English teacher. (I’m not sure if she would describe her time in my classroom as a pleasure, but that’s my take on it anyway!) 😂
Our two girls are due to start school together in September and will be in the same class.👭

Her daughter, (let’s call her Pretty Curls), is just beautiful; gentle and sweet. ❤

We stopped to speak and as usual when there are kids included in the situation, it was more a direction ro the girls to “Say hello” to each other, rather than a conversation between the grown-ups.😂😂

Mini-Me was having a bad day. She has sore ears, was running a slight temperature and was still in the throes of being completely traumatised after going to her ballet class for a whole 3 minutes before deciding she NEEDED to go home. (That’s another blog…) 😡

Mini-Me and Pretty Curls were eyeing each other up.  Mini-Me spotted a packet of Disney Princess rings in the hands of Pretty Curls and began that incessant “But why does SHE have?/I WANT RINGS” whining that brought the conversation to a close.  I said goodbye and ushered her off to the next aisle, praying she’d calm down. 😢
(She didn’t. She slipped and fell and began to bawl. It was one of those genuine cries that overrides the whining to make Mammy realise that ACTUALLY, she’s NOT being a brat, she feels shitty and is upset at everything and simply needs to be snuggled on the sofa with a big glug or Calpol.)

So we went to pay for the shopping.
The other Mammy and Pretty Curls were at the next checkout.
And then the most beautiful, wonderful thing happened.

Pretty Curls came around to Mini-Me and put out her hand, saying “Here. You can have this.”
In her little hand was one of the rings.👭💍

Mini-Me was delighted and cheered up instantly.
Mammy was gobsmacked. 😮
  It was the sweetest thing I’ve seen in a long time.
There were hugs and smiles and statements like “You can be my best fwend!”

Such a simple, thoughtful gesture of kindness from a 4 year old stopped me in my tracks.
It was adorable to watch.😇
It was humbling.
It was the perfect example of how one, seemingly small, act of kindness can change someone’s whole day.😄
It wasnt small.  It was HUGE. It made Mini-Me  forget her sore ears (until we got home at least!) And it made her happy.
It also made me realise that I need to learn from this Mammy’s lovely example.
She’s taught her little girl to be kind and to be nice.👏

Pretty Curls was able to share her brand new toys with a little girl she doesn’t even know.  She’ll go a long way in life; just like her Mammy.

They’re both fabulous and I couldn’t be more impressed. ❤❤

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