I am Simple letter to my Birthday Girl Mum 

​Dear Mini-Me 
5.

FIVE.

Holy Jemima…where did that go? 
I’ve just tucked you in after your special day.  You’re creamcrackered and tucked up between your new Trolls dolls, so I’m guessing that there’ll be no sleep for the next hour or so anyway. 

It’s been a busy day, filled with fun and family and presents and cake.
Mammy did her very best to make it perfect.

To make it memorable.

To make you have the most wonderful day ever.
This birthday is particularly important to Mammy.  Why? Because I remember when I turned 5.  I remember it vividly. It’s probably one of my clearest early memories.

I remember wakening up that morning and just KNOWING that it was a big deal.  I was 5. Finally. I was the SAME age as my two best friends. The same age as my cousin Karen. And more importantly, I was FINALLY older than your uncle Danny again! It was really annoying being the same age as him for 3 weeks each year.  

Being 5 fixed that. 😂
I had made it.  I was 5.  I remember Granda saying “Where’s my big 5 year old?”, and hugging me, (just like your Daddy did you this morning), and feeling sooooooo grown up. 
I remember getting a Nurse’s costume and a little Nurse’s set and I decided there and then I would be a Nurse when I grew up.  That changed. And that’s OK. You’ll change your mind too. Today, you want to be a farmer and a Superhero. You can do whatever you want to be.  

Because you’re brilliant.
I remember having 3 friends come over after school for cake.  I remember Granny and Granda coming for tea. I remember going to bed that night, wondering what would happen tomorrow, now that I was the grand old age of 5.  I remember thinking that it had been the best birthday ever…

Because it was. 

I don’t remember anything else, except the good things.

I’m sure there were squabbles. I’m sure I was told off once or twice.  I’m sure there were moments of that perfect day that were normal and ordinary and maybe even crappy, but my memory (with the help of my mum and dad) only allowed the happy to stay in my mind.
And I hope and pray that this will be the same for you, when you look back on YOUR 5th birthday someday. 💖
And I hope that you are as lucky as your Mammy has been to have your own little buddy by then.

And that you too try to make her 5th birthday a happy one.

Because I did try. And I hope I succeeded.
I even tried extra hard to NOT scold or give out to you because it’s your birthday.  I did OK. Yes, we had that wee row before bedtime. But I’ve already said I’m sorry and that I love you and tried to explain that you have to TRY to listen to me sometimes.  I know I shouldn’t have scolded on your special day, but Mammy is sometimes quite terrible and grumpy and needs a kick up the arse.  And believe me, Mammy felt quite shitty afterwards. It’s OK though, because we had a talk and a cuddle and read a story and talked about the day you were born and I’ve told you all the things I love about you, so I hope that has helped you go to bed knowing that I love you so much it sometimes hurts. 😥

Because I do.💖💖
I love your face, your beautiful eyes, your little nose, those rosebud lips, your voice, your gangly limbs, your humour, your wit and that kind and sensitive little heart which I try every day to strengthen and build up, although sometimes I feel like I do nothing but break it. 

And someday, you’ll be a Mammy too and you’ll understand exactly what I mean.
You’ve had a nice day. You’ve felt like you’re the centre of the universe for a day. And even your sister being sick and grumpiful all afternoon didn’t upset you did it? 

Because you won’t remember that anyway will you? 

Because with her, all you see is love and fun.

And I hope that lasts forever.

Because this 👇👇👇 THIS little birthday hug right here👇👇👇, is all that matters in the world, to you, to her and to us.


So if you read this, whether you’re 15 or 35, remember whatever you can about your 5th birthday and do me a favour? Ring me or visit and tell me about it.  
Oh, and go hug your sister.

You’re never too old for that. 💖💖
Happy birthday my Mini-Me 

You Mamma Bear x

Xxxxxxxxx

I am Scheme in the Sunshine Mum

Scheming, in the Donegal dictionary, can also mean to intentionally avoid going to school.
Playing truant, mitching, scheming…take your pick.
Last Monday.  I schemed school.
Well, technically, Mini-Me schemed school.

But honestly Teacher, it was my idea.

I didn’t even have to open the curtains at 7am to know that the sun was splitting the rocks in that wonderful way that suggests that today was going to be a scorcher.  It may only be March, but the little weather-predicting farmer in me, just knew that it was going to be fantastic.

I looked at the clock.  I looked at the clothes I’d laid out for her the previous night.  I looked at the blue sky and I knew before I’d even allowed the thought to articulate in my mind, that the blue sky was the only one of the these things that mattered.

My girl was not going to school today.  She was going to scheme.  With me.
We were going on an adventure.

I let her dress herself in whatever the heck she liked.  She chose her favourite dress-up dress; lilac and sparkly and hideously ‘Little Miss’ Pageanty, blue leggings, her gold glittery welly-boots and a multi-coloured hand-knit cardigan that we usually keep for shopping trips.

She added the final touch…a huge pink flower headband and Peppa Pig hat..and announced “Now, I’m perfect!”
And she was indeed perfect.

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We wrapped the Princess into her pram, sloshed on some suncream and packed a “picmic” of apple juice and Gingernut biscuits.
And off we went on our adventure.

We’re blessed to live in the absolute sticks…  I mean, if you’re looking for our house, you must first find the “back arse of nowhere” and take the third left.  We’re on top of that hill past the house with the fancy stonework.  If you start going down hill again, you’ve gone too far.
Sally SatNav would need three bottles of wine to find us.

It’s Heavenly.  We live on the family farm, a full field away from where I grew up.  So today, I decided it was about time I took my girls on a trip through my childhood haunts.
We wandered only a mile down the road and back, but we went so much further than that.

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We went back to the 1980’s.
Mini-Me saw the tree in the hedgerow that Mammy used to climb with my best friend Roald Dahl, which no longer has the full covering of foliage that used to hide me from my sister and brother.  (A Neighbour broke my heart when I was 14 by getting too happy with the hedge cutter.  It was never the same and my hidden reading den was destroyed.  For the record, I haven’t forgiven him yet.  I’m looking at you Mr. Bellybutton.)

We stood in the deep mud at the gate to the potato field where we used to spend a fortnight “scheming” each Harvest. (“Slave labour” some might say, but what memories we have.  I swear that there is no better taste than jam and clay sandwiches with tea in a plastic flask cup.)

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We looked at the fields where we used to tie the long grass together and run through it, playing ‘Trippies’.

We found a magic stream… a newly dug drain, but humongously exciting.  it required the immediate throwing in of twigs.

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I showed her the gate the the Fairy Kingdom which lies at the border between Dad’s farm and the next.  The old gate has been lying in that spot, above a busy babbling stream, for over 30 years.  It’s rusted, ruined and utterly convincing as an enchanted gate.  It only opens for Fairies in the moonlight…of course.

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We saw the enchanted tree in the middle of the neighbour’s field.  That’s where Pixie Hollow is…obviously.

We saw the “Jungles”; the messy, overgrown batch of whin bushes where my siblings and cousins and I had the most spectacular adventures as children.

And to top it off, as we munched our bickies and drank our juice, Mini-me realised that we were surrounded by glimmering fairies! (Midges…but hey!)
Oh the excitement.

When we returned home, she was buzzing from the fresh air and the fun.  I was buzzing from the nostalgia and from the realisation that while it may not be quite as safe as it was when we were children, my girls will have the same opportunities for imagination and explorations as I did.
They’ll play in fields.  They’ll get wellies stuck in mud.  They’ll have adventures in jungles of whin bushes and they’ll hide up trees with their favourite books.
And where my Mum used to sound the car horn as our signal to haul our behinds back to reality for bedtime, I’ll probably just text them to come home.  Because times have changed.

But what hasn’t changed is the fact that sometimes, you have to simply turn away from routine and convention and go have fun.
And you can’t measure, grade or assess how much a child can learn from simply going on a walk outside with Mum or Dad.

So for one day only, I was Scheme in the Sunshine Mum. (and it was awesome!) 🙂

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I am Slowly but Surely Mum

 

Well, she’s arrived.

We were blessed with another beautiful little princess just over 2 weeks ago, and she’s just perfect.

Mini-mini-me was born by elective C-section and we’re happily enjoying getting into some sort of routine at home.   It’s been a crazy few weeks and it really is true what they say…slowly does it.

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The suggestion of another section by my consultant had caused me great disappointment.  At 32 weeks, I was told that Baby was very big, already weighing almost 5lbs, and considering my previous section, it would be safer to have an elective section.  After a few days, I conceded that if the consultant said I needed one, then I would listen.

I had honestly wanted to try a natural delivery this time around.  On my way to the hospital the day before, I was nervous. I was terrified that I would have the section and the baby would weigh only 6 or 7lb, and that I would have put myself through surgery unnecessarily.  And despite my very strong feelings about all things Sectioned (see I am Section Mum!), I was worried that I would look silly; that I’d be seen as Too Posh to Push.

Why I was in any way concerned about what people would think of me, I don’t know. But I was.

The experience was just as calm and controlled as I remembered the first one to have been.  Hubby and I were much more nervous this time; probably as we knew exactly what was ahead of me.  A huge difference was that Hubby and Baby were allowed to stay with me in recovery this time.  Last time, I was lying on my own for over an hour, looking manically at a photograph of the baby.  This time, Baby was snuggled on my chest until it was time to return to the ward, with himself right by my side.

As it happens, my consultant made the right call and I’m so glad that I listened to her.

Our second little Princess arrived in the world, ten days early, and weighed in at a tiny 9lb 6oz!  My uterus had been stretched to dangerous extent and had I gone to due date and tried a “proper” birth, things could have been very different.

I got out of hospital on Day 4 which in hindsight, was way too early.  What people don’t consider is that when someone has their appendix out,  they are sent home to rest and  recuperate. Post section, you instantly have a little person to care for, and regardless of the supports you have in place, going home is terrifying.  And when you have other kids at home, sitting with your feet up is impossible.

Throw into the mix a mammy and big sister with chest infections, a Daddy who is trying so hard to be everything to everyone that he pretty much keels over with exhaustion, the post-natal hormones and tears, and the post-surgery pains and restrictions, and you have… the most fun EVER!

Thankfully, the little Princess is an angel.  She’s a very chilled out baby and loves to sleep (so far!) and so the new baby was actually the least stressful thing in the house for the first week.  And now, thanks to lots of antibiotics, multivitamins and a freezer pre-stocked with dinners, our little family is bouncing back and able to finally enjoy the build up to Christmas with our little Christmas pudding and her beautiful Big sis.

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The moment two children became sisters

Every shower brings a little bit of this S-Mum back to herself.

Every day brings its new experiences and joys.

Every snuffly  grumble from Baby and every kiss from Mini-Me brings a joy that can’t be measured.

It’s been slow, but it surely is worth every single second.

I am Slowly, but Surely Mum.

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