Derry Journal Features The S-Mum Blog

I was very grateful to Laura and the team at The Derry Journal for running a feature on myself and my Blog last week.

Thank you so much guys.  You can read it here  … or scroll on.

Best Parenting Blog 2018

FEATURE: The S-Mum – ‘If my posts make a parent feel ‘normal’ or better about themselves, good’

by LAURA GLENN

In a social media world, where bad days and negative moments can be expertly edited out, there has been a rise in people who want to ‘tell it like it is.’

Newtowncunningham’s Maria Rushe is one of those people – whose refreshing honesty and humour on her ‘The S-Mum blog’ recently won her a prestigious award.

Maria is mum to two daughters, is Head of English in Coláiste Ailigh in Letterkenny, and alongside writing her blog, helps run the family business, Rushe Fitness, with her husband, Emmet. She is also Director of Letterkenny Musical Society and describes herself as a ‘foodie and fitness fan’ and a ‘pretty optimistic person.’

She’s a busy woman, but her love of writing and desire to reach out to other mothers and fathers across the North West drives her forward. It is something she does well, as evidenced by her win at the Boots Family Maternity and Infant Awards, where she beat off stiff competition from bloggers across the country to win ‘Best Parenting Blog.’

Speaking to the Journal, Maria revealed she was ‘gobsmacked’ when she was announced as winner. She said: “I made it to the final last year and honestly expected them to tell me it was a mistake and turn me away at the door. To make the final this year again was incredible. I was among my own favourite bloggers, many of whom have a massive following. When my name was called out, you could have knocked me over with a nappy! It really was the best feeling and it was so wonderful to have my followers’ support. And it’s wonderful to have my writing celebrated.”

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Maria with the other finalist at the M&I awards last month

Maria had always wanted to write and in 2015, when editing her friend Liam Porter’s book of poetry, she voiced this to him.

He “threw her words” back at her, asking: “What’s stopping you?” “He was right,” said Maria. “I always tell my students to write what they know. At the time, I had a three year old daughter. I was a busy Mum, so I started writing about being a Mum. The idea for the S-Mum came from a conversation with another Mum where she joked about not being a Supermum. The S stands for something different in every post; Sobbing Mum, Suncream Mum, Silly Mum, Sh*tty Mum…and sometimes Super!”

Maria told how the blog began as ‘Secrets of S-Mum’ and was anonymous. But, when people began to figure out her identity, it became ‘The S-Mum.’ The blog is now four and Maria has another little girl, “so there’s plenty of inspiration.”

On the blog, she calls the girls ‘Mini-Me and Princess’ and her husband is ‘The Him.’ The blog is “mostly based on reality, but sometimes fictional or inspired by conversations.”

On ‘The S-Mum,’ Maria tells of day-to-day life as a mammy, showing both the “highs and the lows.” She stressed how it is important “we don’t fall into the trap of portraying parenthood as 24/7 hell” but it is also “so, so,so,so important” to represent real life, outside the Instagram and social media posts which depict it as “100% perfect.”

She said: “ I think that for years we were bombarded by images on TV and adverts of calm, shiny, polished and smiling Mums who were in control of everything and who made it look easy. And while parenting is indeed wonderful and it’s a gift and it’s something that parents do of course cherish and enjoy, sometimes it is hard.

Sometimes, life is difficult. Sometimes, parents are simply tired and tested. Because being a parent is hard. It is absolutely the most difficult job in the world; no training, no handbook and no boss to guide you. The fear and worry and terror that accompanies that joy, is overwhelming for everyone.

And that is OK.

“Social Media platforms do still show Instamums; the glossy and edited versions of family life. That will never go away. And there is little wrong with it as long as we can recognise what’s real and what’s not. If you find that a certain account is making you feel any negativity about your parenting, unfollow them.

Behind every perfect ‘Instamum’ image is a tantrum or tears or another 32 shots to choose. It’s not real life. “I show both. I show the highs and joys. But I also show the realities; the fears, the struggles, the tears and the pressures.

I include a lot of humour too, which really isn’t hard as my life is a comedy most days. That’s what Mums and Dads enjoy. They see someone else dealing with the daily realities of being a busy parent. If my posts make a parent feel ‘normal’ or better about themselves, good.”

Maria also promotes positive mental health, something around which “great discussions are happening.” She told how she also personally enjoys how more fathers are becoming vocal about their parenting roles, too. She said: “For so many years, Dads have been seen as the ‘other’ parent. Everyone’s circumstance is different obviously, but there are many incredible Dads around and they are as much parents as Mums. I like that the notion of Daddy’s ‘babysitting’ is being challenged.”

She added: “The conversation around maternal mental health (and all mental health) is wonderful and must continue. Parents need to be able to say when they’re not OK and to know where to go for help if it’s needed. There are so many wonderful services and supports available.”

Another aspect of parenting is that no two people parent the same and there will always be someone who disagrees with the way you raise your child. But, as Maria said: “People will always judge, but thankfully, their opinion is not a fact.” She added: “The fact is that if you are doing your best and what you feel is right for your family, that’s good enough.

How other people parent is none of your business. Parenting is hard. But it’s also wonderful and rewarding and fun…sometimes.”

Maria is currently compiling her favourite ‘The S-Mum’ posts into book form. She revealed: “It’s called ‘The Mammy Memoirs’ and is based on my tagline ‘Being Mammy, Being Me.’ It very much attempts to bust the ‘InstaMummy’ notions and advocates that fact that while we are Mums, we can and should still be ourselves.”

She concluded: “The Blog will continue as it is. It’s my hobby; one of my creative outlets and it’s therapy for me to write! It’s not my full-time job and so I don’t feel under pressure to please people or companies. I’m also able to fully control what goes onto it. I say what I want, in my own style and if people read, I am grateful. They don’t have to agree. I do collaborations, but only if they fit my family and my followers. I’ll write until I have nothing left to say.”

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I am Silly Newsreader Mum

Woohoooo and Waaahaaaay!
Good news!
It is Yay of Friyay! It is the eve of no lunch boxes and no uniforms and no alarm clocks. It is the night of acceptable supping of a second glass of the grapes. It is wonderful and I am incredibly glad to see it.
It means that tomorrow is Saturday. The morning of snuggles and CBeebies and Lazy Breakfasts. And it is the morning NOT like the one I described on Thursday! (Until we have to get out the door to go somewhere and the crazy dance begins. It is the morning that we don’t rely on the 8am news to tell us it’s time to go.
I’ve mentioned before how the soothing tones of our lovely Donal Kavanagh starting the 8am news is the “Into the car Darlings!” moment in our house. (In truth it’s usually the END of the news when he says “Next Bulletin at 8.30. Good morning” that inspires “INTO THE CAAAAAAAAAR! WE’RE FECKIN LATE AGAIN!” song, but I could never tell you such truths as a Mammy Blogger, could I?!)
This week I asked the lovely lady who looks after Mini-Me after school to have a wee word with her about something… you know the way our children listen to every word that generally EVERYONE ELSE in the world says to them? How what Teacher says is gospel and Mammy and Daddy are but minions of the legion of the Sad Silly Omni-wrong Parent-type”” who know diddlysquat about ANYTHING in life until they are 25 and suddenly realise that we were right all along?
Yeah, so I asked her to mention how important breakfast is in the morning. I explained that I can’t get her to eat much and it’s causing great stress in the mornings.
I believe the conversation went like this:
“You know that it’s very important to eat breakfast in the morning to help you get big and strong?”
 
“Yeah”
 
“And it’s very helpful to Mammy when you eat your breakfast once you get it so you can all get out the door?”
 
“Yup”
 
“So will you make sure to eat your breakfast tomorrow so poor Mammy isn’t panicking to get you all into the car?”
 
“Yeah. But… See how we are sometimes late getting into the car?”
 
“Yeah?”
 
“It’s not because I’m slow at eating my breakfast.”
 
“Oh no?”
 
“It’s that Donal Kavanagh’s fault. He just reads the news too early some mornings”.
 
I’m not sure the Lovely Lady answered that. I don’t think there IS an answer for that, is there?
Happy Fridays my Lovelies. Cheers to the weekend. Hope it’s full of good news, that is read on time! wineoclock

I am So, I’m in the Irish Examiner today Mum

Thank you so much to the lovely Denise O’Donoghue from The Irish Examiner for putting together this feature on me.  What a lovely way to start my week.
 Click the link to visit Irishexaminer.com
http://www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/features/online-lives-the-s-mum-blogger-maria-rushe-460113.html
ONLINE LIVES   –   THE IRISH EXAMINER

Teacher Maria Rushe has been blogging as The S-Mum for almost three years about her life with her husband, Emmet, and their two daughters.

“I write about the realities of being a parent,” she said. “I try my best to dispel the false perfections and perceived ideals that are portrayed online. As mammies, we all do what is best for our own kids and what another mum thinks about your style of parenting is quite frankly, not your problem.

“I don’t hold back. I sometimes swear. I post and blog about the highs and the lows and I like to make people laugh.”

Maria describes blogging as “therapy” and she loves connecting with like-minded people.

“I enjoy the interaction on my Facebook page. My favourite thing ever is when I read a message or comment from another S-Mum saying how I’ve ‘read her mind’ or how she ‘could have written this’. To know that your words can have a positive impact is such a treat. And realising that I’m not the only one who feels like I’m about to lose my marbles helps too!”

The mum-of-two is cautious of social media but embraced blogging to better understand the students when she teaches English.

“Social media is our ‘Terrible Beauty’; it’s wonderful but so dangerous. I enjoy the communication and new people it brings to me, but I find it difficult to keep up with it all.

“Blogging helps me in my job as being submerged in Social Media definitely helps me to understand the world of my students. I try to teach them how to read it; how to recognise it as a genre, rather than a reality.”

Maria found remaining anonymous challenging and sometimes struggles with trolls online.

“At the beginning, I tried to remain anonymous. After a few months, that became difficult. I grew more confident in my writing and the response was encouraging.

“I do use my poetic licence sometimes. I have to inject a little bit of fiction into the S-Mum to prevent it from being too intrusive to our lives. I chose what to share. I chose what not to share.

“Your first hater or troll is a challenge too. I don’t take them on. I ban and block. End of.”

She says the support she received from fellow parent bloggers has been encouraging.

“I have found them to be such a supportive and honest bunch. It’s refreshing talking with like-minded people and it’s intriguing how many different avenues people take their blogs.

#irishexaminer #onlinelives #thesmum

 

I am she had an Invisible Section Mum 

So Cheryl and some Liam juck had a baby boy.
 Isn’t that lovely news? Isn’t it wonderful that a couple have delivered a beautiful, healthy wee man into the world and that everyone is safe and well?

Isn’t this a heartwarming snap of a Daddy and his new little world having a snuggle? 


And isn’t Mammy beautiful, especially when she’s glammed up?
And isn’t it a fecking disugusting world we live in, when one of our country’s leading news platforms ran with the news today that Cheryl had an “invisible C-Section”.
Oh spare me.
It’s not enough for people to know that she’s had a baby, is it? 
Nooooooooo. 

For some reason, some gutter-slithering excuse for a journalist somewhere (you can nearly guess the source of the article can’t you?) decided that the story about THIS particular new Mammy and her new baby needed to be vajazzled up for us mere mortals.
Let’s say it as it is.
She’s famous.

She’s controversial.

She’s older.

He’s younger.

She’s divorced…twice.

He’s whatever…

YAWN.
Love her or loath her, she always has had, and always will have, everything scrutinised by the media, every single day.

And now, her little family are going to live a life that (wardrobe aside), none of us would ever want to swap.
Wouldn’t it be nice if all of the headlines simply told us that “It’s a boy and everything is OK”? 
Rather than the verbal diahorrea that “the Mother, ten years older than the Daddy, has had a boy, having booked out the whole Kensington wing of some fancy-arsed  surgery in London, (suggesting that the other labouring Mammies probably had to posh push on the street outside Harrods) and that she OPTED for an invisible section with the world’s greatest surgeon.”
What the Fuck is an Invisible section anyway?

Did they suck the baby out through her bellybutton? 

Did she fart the babby out?

Do they transport the baby via feckin Osmosis through her pores, before reforming it in a TV screen alà Cheryl & the Chocolate Factory?

Did they tweet the baby out her arse?

#instababy might have a whole new meaning here Ladybelles…


No. It means she had a section and will apparently be scar free.
Because that’s probably the ONLY concern she had going in to have her baby? 

And she obviously opted for an elective section as she is too posh to push like her bestie VB and all the other section Mammies.

 God forbid, there may have been a medical reason for it. 

Heaven forbid, she might have had no choice in the matter.
Not to mention that she was probably every bit as fecking terrified as EVERY other 1st time (and 2nd and 3rd and 7th) time Mammy on EARTH.

 And don’t let us consider that regardless of what magic Dr Glitterballs works with his 23crt golden knife and surgical thread made of unicorn farts and fairy wings, she still had a fucking OPERATION which will have hurt. 

A lot.

 And no matter how gorgeous or “invisible” her scar is, it will still need to heal.
Because she is human.

And she is a Mammy now.

And her world will be upside down for the rest of her life.

And she’s most likely feeling and looking like any other bedraggled and knackered new Mammy looks after a week of being new parents.

And everyone should just say “aaaaaah!” and wish them well.
And the media need to fuck off with their utter shite headlines and go find some real news. You know? Like how Donegal and Cavan are apparently fecking off with the UK in the Brexit move? 😂😂
Is it any wonder Waterford Whispers is so popular? It’s more intelligent reading than the fecking “real news” sites.

#invisiblesectionmyarse