I am So Screwed Mum

This photograph is evidence that Mini-Me and I don’t spend every waking moment screaming at each other like feral wilderbeast.

23032766_10159389105315167_8056069389208536023_n

However, if you look closely, you can see that she is not looking directly at me. NO, this Doll is looking WAY over my head and 5 steps ahead of me, which is where she is ALL THE TIME.

Today, as she’s starting her usual “in-Granny-behaviour” of not listening to a word I say, doing everything in her little power to get me shouting and generally being a little fart, I stopped her in her tracks.
“Now, do NOT start this nonsense please. You promised Mammy you’d listen to me if we called in to see Granny.”

“Eh WHEN exactly did I pwomise dat?” (WTF?)

“Excuse me?” (She is genuinely asking… and I remember that ACTUALLY, she HAD NOT promised any such thing.)

“I do NOT wememba pwomising dat I’d be good.”

Do you know how you know you are screwed? When you Look at Granny Dearest and even SHE is gobsmacked.

Seriously Ladies.
She’s 5. (and a half and three quarters granted, but still!)
Tell me it’s not just me who has a drama Diva!?

How was your day?Β πŸ˜‚

I am She’s Comiiiiiiiing Mammy Mum!

Mini-Me and Princess are completely ignoring each other, or as I likes to call it, “independent play where Mammy gets 3 minutes of peace”…

Mini-Me is building blocks in the hall.
Princess is tucking George in under a tea towel, saying “shush Jawj. Go shleep! Naaaaght” over and over again.
All is right with the world, and then…

“Mammy look what I built!”

“Well done you! That’s really tall”
(Princess stops mid sentence. Jawj is suddenly forgotten.)

“Will you send Daddy a picture?”
“Of course I wi…”
Mammy reaches for camera, knowing that I now have 0.34 seconds to snap the tower before the wobbler wrecks the tower, her sister’s head and the general peace that Mammy was enjoying. πŸ˜₯

“QUICK MAMMY, She’s COMIIIIIIIIING!”😣😣
“Princess Nooooooooooooo!”

How can something so small move so fast? She’s just teleported herself 18 feet before I could even take 2 steps. πŸ˜‚

“YOU do it!” I scream, and Mini-Me quickly knocks the tower down HERSELF, before the Terror child can swing her dodee-cow at it.

“Yeeeees! I DID it. Take THAT Princess!” Sings Mini-Me, more aggressively than I would like, as she dances a victory dance. (She gets that from her Daddy… πŸ˜ˆπŸ˜‚)

I should scold her.
But feck it, I’ll give her this one.

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I am Such a Weekend Mum!

 

Aw Ladybelles, where do I start?

On Friday 13th, myself and The Him headed to the Big shmoke for the Maternity and Infant AwardsΒ 2017.

23023297_10159382484600167_919126938_o

The Incredibly Beautiful Royal Marine Hotel

I couldn’t believe that my blog had even made it into final. Getting to meet the creme de la crΓ©me of Irish Parenting Bloggers was a dream come true for me.

We arrived at the Royal Marine Hotel in Dun Laoghaire just in time to get changed and join in the champagne reception that was in full swing. Β The hotel is GORGEOUS. Β HImself had booked us a suite as a surprise and I have to tell you Ladies, it was amazing; big and bright with chandaliers and high ceilings and a view of the sea. Romance indeed.

We went downstairs and despite never having met any of the other bloggers, were soon hugging and chatting. Such a friendly bunch. Β We really felt welcomed and any nerves I had settled very quickly.

We were ushered into the beautiful ballroom, where we were served a lovely luncheon. We were sitting beside the legend that is The Stented Papa and his lovely wife. On my other side was one of my heroes, Miss Jen Hogan from Mamatude. She’s a Mum of 7 and an all round Supermum who has even published a real, actual BOOK! I may or may not have been slightly starstruck by her! But what a cracker of a Lady she is. The amazing Jolene fromΒ One Yummy MummyΒ kept us giggling all evening and with the lovely Becky from Cuddle FairyΒ beside her, the laughs were many. Β Add Kellie fromΒ My Little Babog, Cliodhna fromΒ Lean Mean MommaΒ and the lovely Sinead fromΒ Bumbles of RiceΒ andΒ we were in great company altogether.

 

The awards were so well organised. (You all know how well organised things make Me happy!) Between courses, the lovely Maura Derrane from TV3 kept proceedings going, announcing awards and conducting interviews. Very impressive.

The wine was flowing and the craic was mighty. Β And then it was time for the Best Parenting Blog Award.

No award for The S-Mum this Time, but lots of joy.

Well done to the amazing Jolene from One Yummy Mummy who deservedly won Best Parenting Blogger.

Huge congrats too to the lovely My Little BΓ‘bΓ³g Blog and Leanmeanmomma who got Silver & Bronze respectively.

I was quite emotional listening to the stories of the winners of the People Awards. So many incredible stories and amazing people. Well done to all of the winners.

With the ceremony over, we all retired into the rather fablis bar where the wine, gin and general fun continued for a few hours. Β Not used to the art of daytime drinking, myself and The Him grabbed barfood at about 8.30pm and hit the massive leaba in our suite. Β This was easily the most comfortable bed I have EVER slept in.

We had to hightail it back to Letterkenny at 9am on Saturday as I was hosting a charity event with my buddy Joanne.

23023233_10159382486050167_572237146_o

Hosting the Donegal Youth ServiceAfternoon Tea with Joanne Gallinagh of Beaus and Belles

But we did manage to grab breakfast first. I do love me a good hotel breakfast, so I do!

We’ll definitely be back in the Royal Marine, but next time we will make sure we have time to sleep in and enjoy the area for a bit.

As for the awards? Β We were treated like Royalty, and spoiled with food, drinks and goodie bags. I honestly hope we get a chance to attend them again.

Gals. I’m just delighted to have made the top 10. πŸ˜™πŸ˜™ To be placed among the ten best bloggers in the country was such an honour. And as well as making memories, I’ve also made friends.

23023262_10159382480315167_898111478_o

With the Β Finalists

Thank you. YOU LOT got me there; Your support, your votes, your messages. And I’m so very grateful.
And as always thank you to my Mammy Squad and especially to my Him… 😍😍😍

Oh and of course to the two little ladies who provide me with SO much subject matter! πŸ™‚

#bootsmiawards17
#thedonegalmammy

 

I am So Not a Halloween Mum

Today’s Thoroughly Modern Mammy for Donegal Woman
😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

You know the BEST thing about Halloween?

Once, it’s over, it is FINALLY Christmas. I’m not a fan. For this little Mammy, Halloween is simply a pot hole which we have to drive through to get to Santa Season.πŸŽ…

The Him however, LOVES it.πŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒ

He loves it so much that he insists on making a huge fuss about it with the girls. It seems that both of the minions, especially the Older one, have inherited Daddy’s love of the season of orange and creepy crap. In fact, Himself and the two of them went AT the destruction/decorating of the house with such gusto yesterday evening, that I went outside to clean the windows.

Yes, you read right. I voluntarily left my cosy living room and went out into the cold to wash the windows. When I returned, it looked like Scooby Doo and Shaggy had puked the contents of the Mystery Machine all over the room.

I thought I was being clever last week getting the painters to come in. β€œNo bluetack on the walls Daddy. It’s just been painted” I announced as I flounced out the door with my bucket and chamois, smug that my genius plan had reduced the possibility for decorations on every surface!πŸŽƒ

How futile that was. He simply found somewhere else to hang everything and has completely destroyed my kitchen units…

There are witches and ghouls and spiderwebs and spiders (she forgets that last week she was afraid of them!) and there are little green and orange lights EVERYWHERE.

The (clean thank you) windows have jelly skeletons and witches on them and random lamps shout or cackle at me as I walk past. They may end up in the Swilly.

But most annoying and upsetting of all, is his need to make all of my pictures and photo frames uneven on the walls. It apparently adds to the effect.πŸ˜₯

All it REALLY adds to is my desire to scream and punch someone in the nose.

But Herself loves it. And they had great fun all evening putting everything up. I feel that the fact that she is doing something that Mammy dislikes and tuts at, is adding to her love for it. Until November 1st, it’s Mini-Me and Daddy 1, Mammy and Santa 0.

I refuse to admit that they’ve done a good job and that actually the place looks kind of cool. I’ll grumble about having to dress up. I’ll scold about the photographs hanging sideways on the walls. I’ll curse everytime I have to stretch up to lift the pumpkin lights so I can close the cupboard door.

But I’ll do all of this, not because I ACTUALLY hate the holiday, but because it adds to the enjoyment and mischief that The Him and Mini-Me get out of their mutual taunting of Silly Mammy.

Will I get into the spirit of it? Of course I will, (and gin is a spirit so technically, he can’t argue!)πŸ˜‚ I’ll dress up. I’ll dress the girls up. We’ll go to town and meet friends for Trick or Treating. We might even venture into the fireworks this year.

I’ll show her how to make a witch’s costume out of a bin bag and tinfoil, before letting her dress in the unoriginal and manufactured costume I bought her.

I’ll do the bobbing for apples with them, before wondering why the hell I thought this would be a good idea.

I’ll talk about baking an apple pie, before buying one for handiness.

I’ll paint her face every morning this weekend, before scolding that the facepaint must be made of concrete and complaining that it won’t come off.

I’ll pretend to be a witch and get so into character that I scare the bejaysus out of Princess.

And I’ll pretend to hate the whole season, because I know how special it is for Daddy and Mini-Me to have a love of something together that doesn’t include Mammy. Even better if it gives them an excuse to form an alliance and rebel against her eh?

Because these are the memories we are making in our home and every year, they become more and more natural and fun.

And then on Tuesday night, at midnight, POOF! Glitter and Christmas and Jingles EVERYWHERE! And The Him can buckle up, because he only THINKS he knows how to decorate a house!

He ain’t seen nuthin’ yet!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸŽ…πŸŽ…πŸ˜›πŸ˜›

What are your favourite Halloween traditions?πŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒ

I am Stop the Clocks Mum

It’s that weekend that all parents really wish they’d appreciated more B.C.

Remember when this weekend ACTUALLY meant an extra hour in the leaba?
Remember? No?

Well me neither, but this year, I have a PLAN. πŸ˜†πŸ€—

I have cracked it.
I am a Superclever Mum.

Here it is…

Last night, I let the girls stay up 10 minutes later than usual. (7.20pm)
Tonight, I let them stay up 15 minutes later again. (7.35pm)
Tomorrow night, they shall be made, sorry allowed, to stay up until 8pm.
So by Saturday night, going to bed at 8.10pm will feel normal and they should both sleep until 8am, or the new 7am!

In my head, this is genius.
It is fool proof.
I am feckin awesome.
Bow down Bitches.

(In REALITY, they are bigger crankyarses than usual and will most likely STILL be awake at 6am on Saturday morning and the ONLY extra hour MammyTwat here shall ACTUALLY have, is an extra hour of Peppa Feckin Pig on Sunday morning…

But hey! Can’t hurt to try can it? πŸ˜‚

(The only other feasible option is that Saturday night might be a great night for them to go for a sleepover somewhere… anywhere! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ )

How do you deal with the clocks changing Ladies?
PS. Happy Thirstay. πŸ˜™πŸ˜™