Author Archives: Maria Rushe - Blogger and Writer

I am Some Proper Fun Mum

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Just play… 😍

“We couldn’t!”
“Why not?”
“But people will see!?”
“Just play my wee Darlings. Go kick in the leaves.”
Throw them and toss them and kick them so high
And don’t give a thought to those who ask “why?”
You’re never too old to play and to laugh
And sometimes it’s better to step off the path.
The sounds and the giggles, the freedom, the Smiles.
There is no age limit on being a child.
“We did it!”
“You did. And aren’t you glad?”
There’s no room for self-doubt when there’s fun to be had.

#London #mybabbies #life

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 My Leaving Certs having the time of their lives in Hyde Park on Friday.

I am Someone’s Lowered the Loo Mum

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I missed 2 sessions with Jim last week while Princess was indulging in Pukefest #38 of 2017.

I returned yesterday.
Today, I am thoroughly convinced that some gobshite has been sneaking around my house lowering the toilets while I was at work. I swear to God, they’re at least 6 inches lower than normal.

I was incredibly grateful that there are no stairs between my classroom and the coffee room… sorry, staff room… at work today. I might have made it UP the stairs, albeit it with accompanying soundtrack of “ow, ow, ow, ow…” but I may have had to slide or roll down them. It amuses me no end however when my colleagues hobble past me and hiss “I hate your Husband”. We’re all in this together… 😅😅

I am also glad we built a BUNGALOW. Otherwise, I would indeed be sleeping on the sofa tonight. 😅

There is pain, but it’s good pain.
It’s ridiculous how missing just a few sessions can affect my mood so much. I’m a whole lot less hormental when I get my few hours in.

What was it that Elle Woods said?
👜💞👡”Endorphins make you happy.”👜💞👡
Well this is true. And battering the bejayzuz out of things in The Him’s Jim, definitely releases my inner Elle Woods.

I’m not sure how impressed The Him was at my analogy of how to do one of the exercises properly however. He calls it a “squat thrust”, which sounds altogether inappropriate and sordid and difficult.
I prefer “the bend and snap!” 😍😆

In other news, did you know that if someone in your child’s school tells her that they are cousins, then no matter HOW much you tell her they’re NOT, you are WRONG?
Also, if you correct one of her Irish words, you are WRONG because “our Iwish is different than yours”? AND if you tell her that it’s bedtime, apparently you’re the spawn of Satan and need to be screamed at and stomped at for precisely 17 minutes?

And so begin the Teenage years.
How was your day?
😥😥😥

I am So, I’m in the Irish Examiner today Mum

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Thank you so much to the lovely Denise O’Donoghue from The Irish Examiner for putting together this feature on me.  What a lovely way to start my week.
 Click the link to visit Irishexaminer.com
Monday, October 02, 2017
ONLINE LIVES   –   THE IRISH EXAMINER
By Denise O’Donoghue
Reporter

Teacher Maria Rushe has been blogging as The S-Mum for almost three years about her life with her husband, Emmet, and their two daughters.

“I write about the realities of being a parent,” she said. “I try my best to dispel the false perfections and perceived ideals that are portrayed online. As mammies, we all do what is best for our own kids and what another mum thinks about your style of parenting is quite frankly, not your problem.

“I don’t hold back. I sometimes swear. I post and blog about the highs and the lows and I like to make people laugh.”

Maria describes blogging as “therapy” and she loves connecting with like-minded people.

“I enjoy the interaction on my Facebook page. My favourite thing ever is when I read a message or comment from another S-Mum saying how I’ve ‘read her mind’ or how she ‘could have written this’. To know that your words can have a positive impact is such a treat. And realising that I’m not the only one who feels like I’m about to lose my marbles helps too!”

The mum-of-two is cautious of social media but embraced blogging to better understand the students when she teaches English.

“Social media is our ‘Terrible Beauty’; it’s wonderful but so dangerous. I enjoy the communication and new people it brings to me, but I find it difficult to keep up with it all.

“Blogging helps me in my job as being submerged in Social Media definitely helps me to understand the world of my students. I try to teach them how to read it; how to recognise it as a genre, rather than a reality.”

Maria found remaining anonymous challenging and sometimes struggles with trolls online.

“At the beginning, I tried to remain anonymous. After a few months, that became difficult. I grew more confident in my writing and the response was encouraging.

“I do use my poetic licence sometimes. I have to inject a little bit of fiction into the S-Mum to prevent it from being too intrusive to our lives. I chose what to share. I chose what not to share.

“Your first hater or troll is a challenge too. I don’t take them on. I ban and block. End of.”

She says the support she received from fellow parent bloggers has been encouraging.

“I have found them to be such a supportive and honest bunch. It’s refreshing talking with like-minded people and it’s intriguing how many different avenues people take their blogs.

#irishexaminer #onlinelives #thesmum

 

I am Slightly Ashamed Mum

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Mammy is slightly ashamed of herself.
Today, Mammy reached a new low.

Mammy put her 23 month old between herself… and a snake: A teeny, tiny, shitty, scrawny fecking snake.

But Mammy here was so petrified with terror that I hid…BEHIND my baby.

We were at a party which had a (really cool) mini farm outside, all bunnies and hedgehogs and sheep and chickens. Nice animals. Proper animals. 🐏🐑🐇🐰🐁

I was sitting on the floor inside with Princess on top of me, playing happily and chatting to my brother. Next thing, in barges the wee man of the house with a snake…a REAL LIFE living, hissing, breathing, bastarding REPTILE… around his wee shoulders.

The Grannies and Aunties in the room FREAKED out; some with fear and swear words to make even ME blush, others with laughter at their reaction. 😂

Me?

I froze in terror, forgot to breathe and HID behind my baby, eyes closed. I couldn’t function… Even when my brother quietly told me “It’s gone…” I couldn’t move. I was afraid that if I opened my eyes, the red-eyed feckingwrither would have been hissing in my face, like an angry wee penis.

The room quietened down. Brother Dearest said it again, laughing “Relax yourself you madwoman, it’s gone.”

I slowly lifted my head and peeped out from behind my little curly headed saviour, to see my cousins looking at me. As I loosened my vice-grip on my poor child, one of my favourite wenches said “Tell me you did NOT just hide from that snake BEHIND your Baby?”

And then they laughed… and laughed and laughed. Bitches.😍

And after I stopped shaking and began breathing again, I too laughed.

Of course the poor wee snake was probably more petrified than I was, and had it been a REAL danger, OF COURSE I would have drop-kicked the slithering bellycrawling demon out the door, but I KNEW she was perfectly safe; partly because her big strong uncle was beside her, and partly because, well, it’s Princess…and she doesn’t KNOW waht fear is. Seriously, she could take on ANYTHING.
Hitler would run away from her if she was in the right mood.

Had it been Mini-Me, there’s a good chance I’d have been out the feckin window.😂😂

Yup. Mammy fail.
Big time.
I’m not even afraid to admit it. 😣😣😣

(But it gave the cousins a laugh if nothing else. Cough *brats!)

#mammyisachickenshit

I am Sometimes Invisible Mum

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“Get away from me with that camera”.

How many of you have said this? How many times have you said it?

Thoroughly ModernMammy

If you’re like me, you’ll have a smartphone that is permanently slow because it has eleventy squillion photographs on it.

And if you’re like me, you’ll have photographs of everyone and everything you love, but very few of yourself.  I’d say 75% of my pics are of the girls and The Him. 20% of utter nonsense like food and random selfies, and the last 5%, screenshots of great ideas and funny memes and dresses I will never buy.

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Apart from the silly selfies however, (and I say Silly because we usually have our tongues out or are pulling funny faces in them!), there are no photographs of me and my girls.

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I realised this when I had to send a photograph of myself with Mini-Me and Princess to a newspaper this week. I spent 20 minutes scrolling through my phone and in the end, had to message The Him to ask him if he had any on HIS phone.

But it got me thinking about Mammies and how so often, we end up invisible. We’re usually behind the camera. And if anyone suggests that we step into a photograph, 9 times out of 10 we’ll have some way of getting out of it:

“Not at all,”

“I don’t need to be in any pictures”

“Get that camera AWAY from me”

“I haven’t even brushed my hair”

“Look at the shape of me”

“Just snap them”

“Get AWAY with the camera”

“I look dreadful”

“Nah I’m grand here thanks!”

You could all add your own to this no doubt…

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We all do it.  And the result is going to be a million memories for our kids where the only part of Mammy in the pictures is her shadow or her hand holding the wobbly baby up.

But here’s the thing.  Our children don’t care about how Mammy looks, or if her hair is brushed, or if she looks knackered.   When they are older and looking through the millions of images of their childhoods, all they’ll care about is that we’re IN the pictures. And they won’t see the makeup or the neat hair, they’ll only see the love. They’ll only see the moment. They’ll only see Mammy.

 

So take that picture.

You’re gorgeous. Your kids don’t care what you look like. That’s all YOU. They think you’re perfect already.

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So shake off those insecurities and forget about the “shape of you”. Smile and let yourself be captured in the memories of your smartphones.

Jump into the shot if someone asks you to. Be more than just the shadow or the Invisible Mammy, because someday, these photographs will be so much more important than our shyness or insecurities.  They’ll be cherished and loved by our loved ones, more than we can ever imagine.

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Read more on The S-Mum’s website https://the-smum.com  or join the conversation on Facebook @the.s.mum

Read more on my Thoroughly Modern Mammy column on http://www.donegalwoman.ie

The S-Mum xx