I am Some New Year Mam-tras Mum

Posted in parenting, Uncategorized by Maria Rushe - Blogger and Writer

Happy New Year my Lovely Ladybelles.

By now, the trees are down and the house looks alarmingly bare. It’s back to uniforms and routine and lunches and gymbags…and after 2 weeks of dreadful flus, no heating and general Cabin Fever, I for one am ready for normality.

I took my tree down on Saturday morning and very quickly realised just how DIRTY my house is.

There is a layer of dust, of handprints and of pawprints and of glitter on every surface in my home and I have decided to give it a new name: it is my “Layer of Love”.

Giving it a nice name like that makes it easier to tolerate. Clever eh? I don’t feel so bad about the dirt now, when I consider that it was my own little munchkins who happily caused it.

In the midst of the New Year’s Resolution BS of January, here are a few precepts or mantras that I intend to try harder to follow this year. I’m not changing anything. I simply try to employ these in order to try to keep my sh*t together.

These would the Rules of Mammying if I were Queen of the World.

Embrace the Layer of Love. Yes, our houses must be safe and generally clean, but handprints on the glass or dust on the TV aren’t really good reason to stress, are they?
Let it go. The things that bother you? The people who annoy you? Are they really worth being bothered about? If it’s outside of your own 4 walls, it’s not important.
What people think of you, is none of your business. If people don’t like you, it’s THEM who has the problem, not you. Work on YOU liking you. Most important.
Believe that you can. Who says that you can’t? Tell that committee of negative thoughts in your head to sit down and shut up.
Stop Comparenting. Comparenting is my new word. It’s clever isn’t it? It’s when we compare our parenting to others. And it’s never positive or productive, so stop it!

I’m not going to change in 2018. I’m quite happy with who and how I am already thank you. I manage (just about!) to keep it all between the ditches just fine as I am and I will simply try to keep implementing these ideas in my daily life.

Especially the Comparenting one. I don’t care if Shaniqua’s Mum lets her sit in the front seat. I don’t care if Tarquin’s Mum gives him Football Special in his lunch. I don’t care if Jezzabell’s Dad brings her to every dance class going. Good for them.

Parent for your kids, in your home.

I hope your layer of love is only beautiful after the holidays.

6Jan2018

I am She’s Tossing Nappies Mum

Posted in children, Uncategorized by Maria Rushe - Blogger and Writer

Princess is a tyrant.

Her tantrums and strops are making anything that Mini-Me ever threw, seem perfectly angelic. Madam P is terrifying. Think 11 from Stranger Things when she stares at someone she dislikes? Yup. Princess.

Her latest acts of retaliation and protest include slapping, biting, growling (nope, not joking), and getting undressed.

She pulls off her clothes for no apparent reason other than to annoy the grown up in her charge. And over the past few nights, this has escalated to full removal of the poocatcher too.

Wednesday night, Daddy and I checked her before we went to bed. “What’s on the pillow beside her head?” whispers Daddy.

“I don’t know” I answered, mentally checking my memory for what was there when I put her down; Moana, George Pig and Jessie… And yet here was a white teddy of some sort.

I picked it up.

It was in fact a soggy nappy. A quick feel confirmed that yes indeed, Princess had removed the nappy. However, she had managed to put her Jammie bottoms back on.

A quick dry nappy on her stubborn wee bum and off we went to bed, laughing at the wee fart.

Thursday night. Same thing. However, the nappy was not on the pillow this time. No, she had fecked this nappy out of the cot, along with her pillow, quilt, teddies and dodees. In fact all that was in the cot was her bare bum and the vest she hadn’t gotten off.

Yesterday morning. I got her dressed and ran to my room to pull on my own clothes. I returned approximately 3 minutes later, only to find Bare-arsed Betsy running around the kitchen cackling at me.

So there you go. It seems we have a little naturalist on our hands. Either that, or she’s ready for potty training a WHOLE lot earlier than Mammy is ready for it.

I hope it’s a phase she’ll grow out of quickly. If not, let me apologise in advance for any fat little peaches you may see running behind me in Dunnes or Aldi-everything.

31Dec2017

I am Some New Year’s Resolutions Mum

Posted in Uncategorized by Maria Rushe - Blogger and Writer

Wishing you all a Happy New Year. My resolutions for 2018 are pretty identical to last year.

The S-Mum

My lazy self has decided that ACTUALLY, I probably should make a few New Year’s resolutions after all. I’m feeling a bit left out on Social Media today as everyone posts their resolves and memes about the new year and blank canvasses and new beginnings.

ANd then I remembered writing some resolutions at the end of 2016, and I found the post.

Turns out, they are EXACTLY the same as what I want to write today. Does this mean that I didn’t achieve my goals in 2017? NO. I kept everyone alove and well and kept my general sh*t between the ditches, didn’t I? No. It simply reminds me that parenting is a constant process and that being the perfect parent is elusive.

And so I begin 2018 with similar thoughts.

1. I must stop scolding Mini-Me. It doesn’t feckin work anyway. I’m wasting my energy.

2. I will be…

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31Dec2017

I am Sneaky New Year Netflix Mum

Posted in children, Uncategorized by Maria Rushe - Blogger and Writer

It’s New Year’s Eve once again!

A night of glammifying, glitter and quaffing of fizzy stuff in glamorous and electric surroundings.

Or if you’re a parent, a night of overtired minions and a collective wish that it was midnight already so you can go to bed.

If I’m honest, Myself and The Him rarely see midnight. Considering that there is usually Feck all on the Tellybox, we’ve usually clinked glasses and gone to bed way before the fireworks begin.

But now with Mini-Me suddenly excited about New Year’s Eve (even though she actually doesn’t have a clue what it means), we find ourselves in a quandry.

Do we let her stay up until midnight and then spend the first day of 2018 with an absolute SheBeast who is beyond knackered?
And here is where Netfix saves the day… or the night.

netflix02

The clever folk at Netflix have 9 cool New Year countdowns sitting on your profile, ready to countdown at WHATEVER time you decide! They’re a few minutes long and there are 9 different themes so you can choose which one your Minions will enjoy.

netflix-new-years-countdowns-770x478

So tonight, we shall be having a NYE party, doing the countdown and wishing each other a Happy New Year at around 8.30pm.

And then, the two Dollies shall be tucked in and we shall pop some bubbles, chill out, (probably in front of Netflix again!) and try to see if we can stay awake until the ACTUAL countdown.

If your Minis want to ring in the New Year, but staying up until stupid o’ clock is not an option for them, then try this. It’s fab.

Happy New Year Lovelies.

Happy New Year!

27Dec2017

I am Scheme of Things Mum

Posted in parenting, Uncategorized by Maria Rushe - Blogger and Writer

Well it’s all done and dusted.

This year was pretty disastrous to be fair. At one point on Christmas Eve it felt like anything that could go wrong, was going to!

And it did…

😐Our heating system broke a few days before Christmas and can’t be fixed until January.

😐The Christmas tree lights broke on Christmas Eve.

😐My hoover broke.

😐Princess has been sick ALL over Christmas.

We didn’t get all of the wee cousins together for even ONE photograph. She was having NONE of ANYTHING and has spent the past 4 days sitting ON Mammy. How I cooked dinner, feck knows.

She is literally only looking at what Santa left this morning…wee pet.

We’ve been to the doctors today and hopefully now she’ll be on the mend, but Christ having a poorly Babby in the house over Christmas just dampens it all, doesn’t it?

Lookit.

In the scheme of things, “whatever”.

And of course, in the scheme of things, I have NOTHING to complain about.

In the scheme of things, there are so many others who would kill for my little disasters.

But when you’re in the midst of things, “the scheme of things” means Jack Shit.

And sometimes, if Mammy wants to roll her eyes to Heaven, stamp her foot and declare “fuck this for a bag of parsnips” or “Christmas spirit my arse”, then she shall. Because in MY scheme of things, things could have been better!

And I Shouldn’t feel guilty for grumbling a bit. When it’s Mammy’s job to keep everyone else smiling, if she wants to feel a bit sorry for her sorry wee self when things break or go wrong, that’s allowed too. As usual however, after swearing a bit and cursing everything, Mammy pulled up her big girl knickers and sucked it up.

In the scheme of things, wee buns.

We did have a lovely Christmas. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧

Mini-me has had the time of her Wee life and isn’t that what really matters?

The lights got replaced at 10pm on Christmas Eve.

The Gillespie Mafia had 8 heaters on my doorstep within an hour of my Daddy sending the S.O.S to my aunts and Uncles.

The hoover magically came to life again IN the shop when I took it in to complain, making me look all levels of psychobitch to the 4 snuggling Salesmen behind the counter on Christmas Eve.

And the Princess simply has a yucky old flu that will eventually pass, so really, Mammy shouldn’t complain.

In the scheme of things, it was fab.

I did get a few nice snaps, but Trust me, for each if the nice ones, there are 8 real-lifers.

And everyone has them. So remember as you’re looking at all the picture perfect Instafeeds, behind all of those picture perfect moments, there might be a broken fridge, or a Puking baby, or broken heating, or a wobbly marriage, or a Screaming toddler, or a nasty illness, or a broken heart or an empty chair…

Real Life usually happens off camera, (but when we DO capture it, it can be so funny that it reminds us that “in the scheme of things”, real life rocks! 👇👇👇)

How was your Christmas Mammies? Any clangers for me?