“Mammy. Tell him to STOP!”

“Tell who to stop what?”

“He’s staring at meeeee. Tell him to stop”.

These are not words you want to hear from your 5 and a half and three quarter year old at 7am when there is no one else in the kitchen.

In the 3 seconds it takes me to walk from the utility room, my imagination has delivered me to Destination WCS (Worse case scenrio). I have images of all of my kitchen cupboards having been flung open like in The 6th Sense.  Holy Christ, I think, She’s seeing Dead people…   There is no one else in the room so I know that there is no one to BE staring at her! I take the ten steps to the kitchen, already planning the conversation I’m going to have to have with the priest when I call him to come do an exorcism.

“Stop iiiiiit!” she screams.

“Mammy’s here Darling. Who’s staring at you?”

“That cow.”

“What cow?” (WT-actual-F?)

She’s now pointing her little finger accusingly out the window at the cows in the field.

 “Him!  He’s STARING at meeeee. Tell him to stop staring at me.  I can’t eat my Pancakes when he’s watching me.”

The unsuspecting bovine is indeed looking in the window, happily chewing its cud, probably wondering why the little human is screaming at him.

It moos, probably telling its own Mammy cow “Mammy. Tell her to STOP! She’s staring at me and I can’t eat my regurgitated food wif her watching meeeee!”

Mini-Me is now banging on the window at the cow.

“Maybe you’re scaring the poor cow? Eat your pancakes and stop your nonsense” I laugh, glad I don’t actually have to ring the priest after all.

I’ll save the exorcism for another time, not that I can ever see any poltergeist brave enough or stupid enough to take her on!

How was your day?