​Today I am Sharing an ice cream Mum.
This is how Mini-Me and I ate her icecream cone today. 

Imagine that I would have the nerve to be so close to my child? 

Obviously I look soooooo much more fablis than Victoria Beckham in this snap. 😂

And no one would ever say we’re inappropriate or too close because there’s a big chunk of wafer between our lips. 😬

And no one would ever dare to comment that the image is sexualised would they?  😡

Seriously.

That whole nonsense a fee weeks ago made me laugh. 

I kiss my girlies on the lips everyday. 

They’re my children. 

We show affection.

It’s how we roll.

And if anyone sees anything in this picture other than a happy 4 year old messing with her Mamma Bear, then guess who has the problem? 
Hope you all had a fablis Sunday?
I’m currently sitting on the side of the bath, allowing layer #173 of shitty fake tan to dry so my skin look AMAZEBALLS for tomorrow’s wedding.

I am almost mahogany. 💩💩
I am sipping the bubbles that I didn’t ACTUALLY open last night because I fell asleep at stupid o’clock. 😪😪
I’m also CURSING the very polite and lovely sales assistant in Debbie-of-the-nams who NEARLY got me to sign up for a store card yesterday, but who forgot to take the security tag OFF THE FECKIN DRESS I am wearing tomorrow. 
I will now have to be at the door at 9am to get it sorted, then get home, fed, haired, muck-uped, children slid across the field to Granny’s and BACK in Derry for 12.15pm.

(Seriously need to invest in a wee shuttle track over to her garden…)
Yes.  Tomorrow morning will be fun.
Hope the bank holiday weekend is going wonderfully my pretties.

Keep kissing those beautiful babies. 😘😘

​It’s SATURDAY SWEETIES!
The absolute coolest thing happened to S-Mum this evening.

I have been smiling since and the Him is ready to throw me out a window because I haven’t shut up since I came home.
I popped to Marksy Spendies to buy a bottle of bubbles🍾 (so me and the Him can toast the fact that 12 years ago today, we were young, free and single enough to get rat arsed and bump into each other by accident 😂at a party in a garage and start living happily ever after. 😂😚💖…not that I need an excuse to buy Bubbles, but still.)

But ANYWAY, 

I popped to Marksy Spendies to buy a bottle of bubbles

And…

I got ASKED FOR I.D!!!!!!! 😂😂😂
I was looking a bit skanky tbh. I was going for my usual no makeup/mummybun/windswept and interesting look. I do it fablisly. 😂😂

I was going through my purse to see if I had enough change for the parcark and I heard the voice. 

“Do you have ID on you please?” 

…
I checked my phone then glanced up to see whay he hadn’t asked for money.

I was met by an expectant look and a slight fear…

“Sorry! Are you asking me for ID? OH MY GOOOOOOD THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!” I gushed.
I swear to God, I felt like I’d won the fricken Rose of Tralee! Music started to play adn people began to clap and cheer and I was about to begin my acceptance speech, wiping a shocked and oh so humble imaginary tear from my eye. 🎉🎉

The buck at the other till started laughing.

My best friend John (yes I established his name afterwards because he can’t JUST be the boyo at the till in Marksy Spendies when he’s been part of such a momentous moment in my life now can he?), John realised that perhaps I am a little bit more than 25 and began to blush furiously.

He blushed.

I continued to gush. 😂
“Can you ask me again please? I wasn’t quite ready for that!” I begged.

John didn’t quite know what to say so he just laughed.

At this stage, his two colleagues at the other tills were also laughing and looking at me quite piteously.  They were probably thinking “CRAZY LADY!”

“You’ll understand some day!” I grinned at the 19 year old girl who was looking at me as if I had grown three tits on my forehead.
I didn’t care that they thought me odd.

At that moment, despite my utter skankiness, I looked young and wrinkle free enough to be asked for I-fricken-D!
“You’ve just made my night.  Thank you!” I slabbered as I left the checkout and left them all shaking their heads in bufuddlement.
And I smiled all the way to the car and all the way home.

And I’m still smiling.

Because yes, I am THAT BLOODY SAD!

(Which is ironic, because actually, it all made me so happy!) 🌞🌞🌞
Now, the Him is getting Mini-Me (aka The Hulk) to bed and I’m about to be a culinary genius while supping on the bubbles.🍾🍾
I do hope your Saturdays are utterly fablis my Pretties. 💖💖💖

(Just call me Benjamin Button!) 😂😂😂
I am So-Chuffed Mum 😚😚

​It’s BEDTIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!
Sweet Jesus and the wee donkey, there are some bedtimes that are SOOOOOOO much more adored and precious than others.
Today was long.
Really, fricken, long. 😂
I’m tired. I’m cranky. I’m starving. 

I’m so glad that it’s bedtime that I could cry with joy.
And that was without a hangover.

I’ve spent the evening congratulating myself and thanking myself (twice out loud) for being so fantastically well behaved last night.  

Because I don’t think I would have survived today if I’d partied too hard last night. 🍾🎊🎉😔
Princess started to crawl on Tuesday. This is Friday.

  Today’s trick has been to constantly pull herself up to STANDING, (YES STANDING,) at the window sill, sofa, chair, side of cot…whatever… 
But she can’t get down again, so has spent most of the day standing screaming at me to hurry the feck up and help her back on to her pudgy arse before she lands on her head.
Shes 8 months, still toothless, crawling for 3 whole days…and now she can stand.

I’m not quite ready for this shit.

Not today anyway.

Remember when you could leave them on the mat and pop for a pee for 30 seconds knowing that they wouldn’t have moved? 

Yup.  THOSE good old days are GONE. 😡😡
Also today, Mini-Me told me to “Relax yourself now Mummy. I want to hear the radio please.”

I shit you not. 😂😂
So, now it’s bedtime.

They’ve both gone to sleep without much protest thank Goodness.
I’ve just text the Him to VERY POLITELY request that he MIGHT consider driving past and popping into a certain Indian restaurant on his way home and that I would reward him with polite and intelligent conversation if some of their fine cuisine just happened to end up in his batmobile for me.
I didn’t threaten violence.

I didn’t suggest that the furbaby’s kennel is very comfortable.

I even said please. 😇
On another note, THIS 👇👇👇👇 amazingful picture by my genius Mini-Me has been on my fridge for weeks. It’s Rapunzel’s tower.  

Only today did I suddenly realise that it might be misconstrued by a dirtier mind to look like something else.

But I bet none of you Lovelies saw anything phallic? 

Of course not.

Because you’re all nice and ladylike. 😂💖
Anybuts.

After surviving today, I’m going to have another one of my 5 a day 🍷and relax with some grapes.

Did I mention that I love Bedtimes?
Here’s to a fablis and safe bank holiday weekend my Pretties.

CHEERS. 😚😚😚

​Oooooooh the excitement! 🌞🌞🌞
@secretsofsmum has been “LONG-LISTED” for the LITTLEWOODS IRELAND BLOG AWARDS 2016. 😆😆
I’ve never been long-listed for ANYTHING before.

I am VERY EXCITED!

I am also pretty sure it means that I must quaff prosecco tonight to celebrate the longingofthelisting.🍾
Seriously, if I read the terms and conditions, compulsory supping of the bubbles is in there somewhere. 🎉🎊
Thank you all for the follows and likes and comments and please continue to share and tag if you’re enjoying my S-Mumblings.
Now, I’m off to be a fecking Longlisted Supermum and “Mary Poppins”

 these two to their respective beds so that the quaffing of the longlistedness bubbles can commence.

Much love guys and dolls 

#SeriouslyexcitedMum 

#SMum #Mammyblogger #Mummy #MiniMeAndPrincess #SecretsOfSMum #littlewoodsirelandblogawards